Monday 13 September 2010

a child's play


that yellow ball
orbits in air
drops perfectly in the ditch
a child dithers to catch it
his hands stick into mud
ghosts of dead children
haunt his neighborhood

23 comments:

  1. You have an ethereal one going here. Thanks for playing the Sunday 160.

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  2. Its an awesome poem, great work. hope to see more

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  3. Such atmosphere and depth in so few words..very strong and visual piece..thank you for your vist..Jae

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  4. A brief but so vivid piece of writing. Your final line anchors the other images with a haunting quality. This is a beautiful poem,

    Elizabeth

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  5. That was an unexpected ending!

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  6. It really sucks that there's so much pain hidden behind innocence...

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  7. I see Susan's point, but I like that a child can still find joy in the world.

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  8. Yikes! That went from sweet to scary with barely a breath between. Nicely done.

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  9. WOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?

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  10. Sort of innocent and scary all together.

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  11. Very nice work. Short poems are difficult. You mastered the simplicity.

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  12. so very well plotted 160.
    Thanks for sharing with poetry pot luck!

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  13. Such depth in your words..very strong and powerful poem..thank you for linking with Potluck. xx

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  14. different- very different style- enjoyed it!

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  15. Wow I love the haunting feel of this :3

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  16. This started out so sweet and ended on an eerie note! Packs a lot in few words.

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  17. Definitely a poem of two halves - both beautifully crafted. I loved "a child dithers".

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  18. Brief but pungent. Very effective ... I like it.

    Happy potluck!

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  19. Ending gave me a chill—it begins so sweet and innocent. cheers

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