Wednesday, 1 September 2010

pitching forward


I have taken a wordle from one that briarcat made from her own poems. Those words are different than what I normally use and I like that.




I can hear the hummingbirds
while I toss the salad
I expect the girls to arrive at any time
seasons have gone
predictable we weren't ever
what kind of celebrations I expect now
when I bolted out last time we met
yet I would like to make amends
to pitch forward like a rocket
I try to save the smoking sizzlers
wishing to break something
my glasses sit foolishly on my nose
wounds don't show on the surface

"in mathematics, two negatives do make a positive"

22 comments:

  1. Gautami I agree the last line does make so much sense!
    Nicely done
    Pamela

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  2. Hmmm. They don't look like such bad words after all. At least now they have had a good home. I like the imagined "pitch forward like a rocket to save the smoking sizzlers", and foolishly for glasses--don't I know about that!

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  3. Very impressive...especially since you wrote it without thinking! I add my applause re. the last line.

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  4. like the others before said, the last line is great!

    Nice piece...

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  5. I will agree with everyone else, the ending is wonderful.

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  6. Quite a challenge to incorporate so many words. Good job!

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  7. I can feel that note of anxiety running through the poem, and how our thoughts run in all directions when we feel that way, not knowing exactly what to expect, but hoping for the best. I like the fact that you exchanged wordles and wouldn't mind doing the same.

    Elizabeth

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  8. Ha! as usual, the last line took the breath away.. Gautami..well done..

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  9. For a mathematics teacher, the last line is almost an everyday occurence, while teaching!

    A cliche, I may add!

    :D

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  10. I like the bit about wounds that don't show on the surface, but the last line...oh, how fun!

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  11. this was superb !!! amazing :)

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  12. you put them together nicely and close strongly...nice.

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  13. and unlike poles attract each other!

    loved the ending Gautami!!!

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  14. Yes, like the last line too.

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  15. The last 2 lines made the post fabulous and impacting

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  16. Very, very nice. I love the way the unusually paired words create an unexpected feel. Thanks for visiting me and leaving the link. Come by any time!

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