Sunday, 25 April 2010

clouds roll over



sky churns like butter

turbulent clouds roll over
you watch for night rain

rains beat on unwashed windows
dirt gets washed away
you are again as spotless as ever

goodbye, turbulent thoughts-
let the clouds roll away those
and may the bigger picture
enclosed within you
give way to rhapsody of senses




18 comments:

  1. Gautami,

    Laudable wish with such simple simile.

    Take care

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  2. I like the elegance of this, that clarity is attainable like the washing away by rain. It's a good fit with the recent days here in Oregon, USA. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. I thought your use of repetition was clever and interesting.

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  4. Ah, the cleansing of water!! Today has that feel here in Alabama after a day and night of storms.

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  5. "sky churns like butter"

    I can see that roiling sky! Thank you!


    Rainless night

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  6. Ooh I love the "rhapsody of senses" lovely.

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  7. From beautiful descriptive simile to dramatic metaphor! The "rhapsody" of it all! A fascinating piece of poetry!

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  8. I like the pivot point in this where you stop talking about the windows and use "you" to make us think!

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  9. Such lovely imagery.
    Especially where you compare the sky to churned butter.

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  10. That's one big storm! Thanks for dropping by. Here's mine.

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  11. love love the picture of thoughts being washed away. Nicely penned

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  12. it reminds me of rainy nights in Georgia, i loved it then, I love it now ;)

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  13. first time here.
    wonderful...great work.

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  14. I always think of rain as cleansing, too. What a nice series of poems.

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  15. 'and may the bigger picture
    enclosed within you
    give way to rhapsody of senses'

    I'm happy to say I can relate to this - but it's never occured to me in such beautiful lines before.

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  16. Hi! haven't been by for a while. just making my rounds during national poetry month here (have no idea if it is in India - wouldn't imagine it would be for any reason).

    was this a particular assignment or form? i noticed the repetition of words.

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  17. Good one , this! Iliked the words ..rhapsody of senses.. you continue to create rainbows of words.. beautiful..

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