Wednesday 21 October 2009

memories jive tirelessly

metallic blues jangles in the background
reckless me, jives tirelessly
dad, your words
move in and out
after countless years
silhouette within the walls
of memories jiggles
my heartache is contained
because you reinforced it that way
that speck of paper in my pocket
scented with your love
drives away my blues
metallic sheen of jangling bangles
makes me heart whole yet again


21 comments:

  1. Quite the heart-warming ode to somebody dear.

    Well done...

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  2. I see no signs of slowing down. A lot of good lines in this, and it emits emotion like sparks.

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  3. very nice tribute - I wonder what is on the paper???

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  4. Beautifully conveys the heartache and then the jangling bangles gathers the pieces together to make it whole again. Wonderful take on the prompt.

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  5. This was beautiful...that piece of paper must be very special. I'm glad it gives strength!

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  6. Wise recitations echo in your heart, keeping your forward trajectory through life. Blessings.

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  7. Strong words of nostalgia and heartache - Nice work!

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  8. As always, beautiful.

    b

    http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2009/10/habit-of-thinking.html

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  9. I love this, the way you used the J words so perfectly within the piece...very nice!

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  10. "that speck of paper in my pocket
    scented with your love"

    a beautiful tribute to that special person.

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  11. This is as great as any!

    A beautiful piece:)

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  12. I like the way you go back to the beginning and repeat the words, but with a twist. You've posed some questions here...

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  13. such a lovely piece... touching... the words are still echoing...very beautifully penned.

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  14. a wonderful piece to remember someone by

    should it be "makes 'my' heart whole yet again" instead of "makes 'me' heart whole yet again"? not quite sure of this part, I guess I dont' like quite like reading "makes 'me' heart whole yet again", but it's just me

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  15. Your words are always interesting, different. Never cliched.

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  16. I'm curious about the speck of paper. :)

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  17. Gosh G, your bad stuff is just as good as your normal stuff. Gorgeous as usual

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  18. Poignant memories hallowed by love lasting ever. Nice.

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  19. Love the idea of memories jiving ~ like some frantic, endless dance ~ like the dervishes! Very graphic!

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