missing me

dust laden keyboard
will wait for my fingers
my laptop and my computer
won't blink again
journal of my life would be still
the streets won't see my feet again
banks will call and fall silent
in the closet
someone will find my hidden jewels
all my papers would be carefully scrutinized
but would I care,
would anyone care

hope someone misses my poetry,
and the reviews I write
but I know and you know,
nothing will change in this world
when I die 
that is what I wish-
no immortality after death.

focussed on death--3WW

sitting on the edge of the tracks
he waited for the train
to end all his travails
when he cut his wrists,
his dad saved him;
when he consumed poison,
mom made him drink salt water.
jumping from a building,
he landed on unseen tarpaulin.
hanging from the fan,
the rope couldn't take his weight.

this time around,
his focus was totally on dying.
tired- he fell asleep
only to wake up to find himself alive.
first delayed and then cancelled train
had yet again saved his life.
getting up he kicked at the tracks,
walked back home to fill his empty belly.

until inevitability----3WW

Corridor
Linger
Subtle

Why have I started thinking of it again?
I thought I had left all that behind.
Why has it come back?
Subconsciously I fear it.
Yet I am fascinated by it.
It feels so familiar.
Like my best friend.
Who knows me the way I do not even know myself.
I thought I was well past that illogical thought.
Seems not.
Will I get over it again?
Will I push it aside?
Into that unseen corridor of my psyche?
Where it will linger for some time to come.
Give in to it?
With a vengeance yet subtle?
I watch it with enthralling revulsion.
Where the mind covets and yet repels.
Why do I fight?
Why don’t I give in?
So easy to do that.
What holds me back?
Isn’t it better to finish with that than face it again and again?
May be it is I.
It must be that.
I cannot take the painless way out.
I have to traverse the most difficult of path.
Where there is stimulation, adventure and challenge.
Please retreat.
Do not come back.
I will not embrace you now.
Come later when it is inevitable.
For now, I have to live.
Let me wake up...

Until inevitability, goodbye death..