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| La Jument, off the coast of Brittany, photograph by Jean Guichard |
I see a calm
one need not worry about the impact of the storm
when the moon illuminates scenes of havoc
my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts
I wish to be remote
but it is just a random moment
one of those which recedes with water
I need to collect it and price it
I do not wish for scenes to litter my marked area
the green blue ocean may differ with me
now that it is topped with foam
"when your lifeless body finally washes ashore,
I would have gone into hiding"
I actually felt a calm and remoteness when reading your words. A great read.
ReplyDeleteThere is a assuredness in the words and the thoughts here..very wise
ReplyDeletethere is a tidal rhythm to your poem. Well done!
ReplyDeletea random moment well crafted and touchingly calm in a world of turmoil.
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ReplyDeleteThe ocean doesn't hide it's feelings especially when "it is topped with foam"!
ReplyDeleteThis is very beautiful, Guatami.....wisdom, like waves.
ReplyDeletethe second verse really caught me beautiful words..
ReplyDeleteWell wordled.
ReplyDeletethoughts receding with the tide...nice image
ReplyDeleteAn ambitious but successful attempt to capture a sense of calm and disassociation - well achieved and an interesting read, for sure... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
ReplyDeleteWhew! I cannot tell if the narrator is lost in the storm, or if she has found her stand remote and calm. Either way, the poem is powerful! (Did you mean price or prize?)
ReplyDeleteThat's the might of an ocean and its influence over us.
ReplyDeleteI read this as though the two of you were apparently drowned at sea but only one was recovered but your life still goes on...elsewhere, hopefully with better luck next time.
ReplyDeleteLove this line:
ReplyDelete"my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts."
Enjoyed your calm state of mind, willingness to see this element working with you.
ReplyDeleteProvoking and poignant at the same time...
ReplyDeleteI like the shift from calm to foam...
ReplyDeletei love the collecting of moments to price.....lovely x
ReplyDeleteLulled by the storm, paths will part but both are futile.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the way one freezes to death when caught out in a blizzard. Hunker down either way and lose it all.
Later the persons may or may not be found, but still futile.
..
There's a beauty to your words, quite vivid. A lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteespecially your first verse has a good rhythm and pace ~
ReplyDeleteI didn't feel a calm at all. To me this spoke of the vast tumult of life that like an ocean may have small glimpses of calm scattered randomly and unpredictably. No assurance there only an acceptance of the chaos.
ReplyDeletesmiles... you know... i think he knows the ocean so well and that gives this unearthly calm... a breathtaking pic..
ReplyDelete'I need to collect and price it' simply stunned me that line did!
ReplyDeletei love this place you go....
ReplyDeleteDrawn from a depth scarcely imaginable, well done , Gautami
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
ReplyDeleteIn the raging tempest your words have an calming effect. well-written.
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