bamboo shoots beat against each other
the sound of it
in the silence of the night
scares away dark thoughts
how long have I been awake?
it seems like forever
aeons of time merging into it
is it morning yet?
bellowing curtains
shadow the moonlight
when dawn breaks in,
into the room
I fall asleep deeply, dead to the world
but very alive in mystical one
Vivid scene with strong sensory hooks. This week I have gone for a Haiku as a simile. My Haiku is here
ReplyDeleteOoh, I very much like the feeling of this one. Like John said, it's a vivid scene and you've really created a physical sense of it.
ReplyDeleteHey Tami, sooooo nice! Right away I thought of a bamboo wind chime. They make a lot of noise too.
ReplyDeleteSeems we are having a rash of bamboos shoots around today. :)
Jim's Haiku Bones is here
..
dead to the real world and alive in the mystical one...there are those cultures who believe the dream world is the "real" one and this waking world is just imagination.
ReplyDeleteI liked the bamboo curtain between the worlds.
I liked the use of italics for the speaker's thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I stay awake just listening to the night - it's voice is very reassuring.
ReplyDeletevery precious dawn ...I love this sleepeasy ;)
ReplyDeleteA happy ending at last, like a sigh.
ReplyDeleteYou brought pictures of a serene night to my mind. I totally agree the sound sleep you get in the early morning hours is a total bliss :)
ReplyDeleteLoved visiting your wonderful blog :D
Keep up the good work.
Cheers!!
scare's away dark thoughts? not me i guess...the more i would be frightened and eager to see the new dawn!
ReplyDeleteis it morning yet? I wish too...
Very well done. loved the images you sketched. the morning sleep is deep and peaceful.
ReplyDeleteWoww!!!!!!!! Beautiful :) :)
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the sense of falling deep into dream world. Mornings are perfect for that.
ReplyDeleteWell done. Good imagery and connection to the reader. Really enjoyed this.
ReplyDelete"mystical dawn" is the perfect name.
ReplyDeletenice writing...flows smoothly
almost like a song
those nights can be creative!
ReplyDelete