Sunday, 25 April 2010

clouds roll over



sky churns like butter
turbulent clouds roll over
you watch for night rain

rains beat on unwashed windows
dirt gets washed away
you are again as spotless as ever

goodbye, turbulent thoughts-
let the clouds roll away those
and may the bigger picture
enclosed within you
give way to rhapsody of senses
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16 comments:

  1. Jack25 April 2010 at 08:20

    Gautami,

    Laudable wish with such simple simile.

    Take care

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  2. J. D. Mackenzie25 April 2010 at 08:39

    I like the elegance of this, that clarity is attainable like the washing away by rain. It's a good fit with the recent days here in Oregon, USA. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. SOL25 April 2010 at 09:44

    I thought your use of repetition was clever and interesting.

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  4. Pam25 April 2010 at 14:28

    Ah, the cleansing of water!! Today has that feel here in Alabama after a day and night of storms.

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  5. Magical Mystical Teacher25 April 2010 at 16:01

    "sky churns like butter"

    I can see that roiling sky! Thank you!


    Rainless night

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  6. jone25 April 2010 at 20:32

    Ooh I love the "rhapsody of senses" lovely.

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  7. Greyscale Territory26 April 2010 at 01:16

    From beautiful descriptive simile to dramatic metaphor! The "rhapsody" of it all! A fascinating piece of poetry!

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  8. Linda Jacobs26 April 2010 at 03:55

    I like the pivot point in this where you stop talking about the windows and use "you" to make us think!

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  9. Felicity26 April 2010 at 06:11

    Such lovely imagery.
    Especially where you compare the sky to churned butter.

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  10. Missy26 April 2010 at 06:24

    love love the picture of thoughts being washed away. Nicely penned

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  11. Lorraine26 April 2010 at 06:44

    it reminds me of rainy nights in Georgia, i loved it then, I love it now ;)

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  12. Sorcerer26 April 2010 at 09:15

    first time here.
    wonderful...great work.

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  13. fourwindshaiga26 April 2010 at 12:30

    I always think of rain as cleansing, too. What a nice series of poems.

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  14. Julia Smith26 April 2010 at 18:13

    'and may the bigger picture
    enclosed within you
    give way to rhapsody of senses'

    I'm happy to say I can relate to this - but it's never occured to me in such beautiful lines before.

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  15. theaccidentalnovelist27 April 2010 at 00:43

    Hi! haven't been by for a while. just making my rounds during national poetry month here (have no idea if it is in India - wouldn't imagine it would be for any reason).

    was this a particular assignment or form? i noticed the repetition of words.

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  16. Ramesh Sood28 April 2010 at 05:50

    Good one , this! Iliked the words ..rhapsody of senses.. you continue to create rainbows of words.. beautiful..

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