Saturday, 13 February 2010

words broken into tiny pieces

I build my words one over the other
carefully brick those in
cement the edges;
look at my work from afar
note the unevened plains
I again break each portion in tiny bits
rearrange differently
my own words give me strength
I mix it with pleasure
add gold sheen to polish
watch it reflected in your seductive eyes

"your presence takes my poetry to a higher plane"
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35 comments:

  1. Percy Bisque Silley13 February 2010 at 08:01

    tiny pieces broken into words

    I again rearrange it differently
    break each portion in tiny bits
    I build my watch from afar
    carefully brick those words
    one over the other in cement edges;
    look at my gold sheen polish
    note the unevened work
    my own plains give me seductive eyes
    strength to add
    your words in the mix
    I reflected it with pleasure

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  2. gautami tripathy13 February 2010 at 08:23

    PERCY BISQUE SILLEY, stay away from my blog And if you can't, then stop rearranging my poetry and making it yours!

    Don't be jealous that you can't write great poetry like me! If only you had listened to your mom...

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  3. Lorraine13 February 2010 at 09:07

    Your words make me feel real, again, as for Sir Silley, if I may point a slight lie..as he states
    'my own plains give me seductive eyes' and yet there is no mention of tri-focals.
    I rest my case and my less heavy bottom due to the totally passed profile photo.

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  4. Bill13 February 2010 at 20:01

    spring . . .
    a poem asks me
    to write it

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  5. The Dark Lord13 February 2010 at 21:12

    You say it so well..One would think, correctly, there is pleasure to be derived from the "work" itself, as in watching the "finished" reflection in the beholder's eye. Is this the essence of poetry?!

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  6. Greyscale Territory13 February 2010 at 22:29

    Love the idea of words being polished to a golden sheen! But the climax of reflection in seductive eyes is very dramatic! Great poem!

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  7. Amity13 February 2010 at 23:48

    Hi Gautami;

    beautifully weaved words, and it made a lot of sense...:)

    goldenly polished!

    whose Percy? oh, never mind, got curious you're trying to ward him off your blog!

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  8. anthonynorth14 February 2010 at 01:37

    Excellently done.

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  9. Sweetest in the Gale14 February 2010 at 04:56

    Beautiful words that speak to me...I think every person who writes can relate to how wonderfully you've expressed this feeling.

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  10. Sandra (if)14 February 2010 at 05:12

    you polish well Gautami...:)

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  11. The Amateur Poet14 February 2010 at 06:17

    yeah, this was really good! :)

    hit the mark well, goldenly polished.. like Amity says! :)

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  12. Percy Bisque Silley14 February 2010 at 08:35

    Dark Lord: Indeed, tho' I feel quite silly addressing you as Such, tis also my firm Belief that, as you "say:"

    "There is 'pleasure' to be derived from the work itself, as in 'watching' the finished reflection in the beholder's 'eye'.

    And verily Yes, Agreed: this is the True Essence of Poesy.

    I am most Pleased that this was a takeaway for you from my Rendition of the poem.

    I also write poems about chickens sometimes.

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  13. The Dark Lord14 February 2010 at 10:11

    Percy.. if you felt quite silly adressing me as such, you shouldn't have taken the trouble to reply to my comment.

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  14. Percy Bisque Silley14 February 2010 at 10:28

    Dear Dark Lord,

    Yes, but I only felt Quite silly and not Entirely. Had I felt Entirely Silly then this would have been quite a different Matter.

    Thank you for taking the trouble to reply.

    Sincerely,

    Percy

    PS Do you write chicken poems sometimes too? They can be brooding.

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  15. The Dark Lord14 February 2010 at 10:43

    And thank you for taking the trouble to re-reply which must have been immensely difficult, courtsey ur trifocals...

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  16. Tammie Lee14 February 2010 at 12:48

    wonderful creative process~

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  17. Irene14 February 2010 at 16:19

    Interesting idea of words are bricks.

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  18. shraddha14 February 2010 at 17:21

    loved it...
    it was amazing..

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  19. SandyCarlson14 February 2010 at 18:07

    Oh, that reflection. This was beautiful. The creative process, love. Wow.

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  20. gel14 February 2010 at 22:11

    yummy poem:
    "I mix it with pleasure
    add gold sheen to polish
    watch it reflected in your seductive eyes"

    I'm only blogging rarely, but it's such a pleasure to see your beautiful photo! I hope you enjoyed a special Valentine's Day. I put the url of the current post in my comment name to click.)

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  21. madeline d. murray14 February 2010 at 23:45

    Beautiful.

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  22. Ms. Tripathy15 February 2010 at 00:38

    I so amused to find my peaceful blog a battle ground...

    Sir Silley, The Dark Lord....TRy calling a truce. I volunteer to be your mediator...

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  23. sandy, from fourwinds15 February 2010 at 13:29

    So nice, the title really caught my attention. I like the thought of building a poem.

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  24. Mads...15 February 2010 at 16:00

    powerful as usual..m awed by yr poetic art..grr8..!!!

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  25. Loch Rob15 February 2010 at 18:23

    Very nice reflective piece. I like the metaphor of building, breaking apart, and rebuilding.

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  26. Tumblewords:15 February 2010 at 19:40

    I like the building of a poem, brick by brick! And the gold sheen is a lovely image.

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  27. adreamygal15 February 2010 at 22:57

    Loved the construction of your poetry ! Its really good :)

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  28. Yousei Hime16 February 2010 at 08:43

    I like this. It feels a lot like my writing process. Thanks for sharing this lovely reminder.

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  29. Gordon Mason16 February 2010 at 09:57

    Enjoyed this, particularly the image of 'note the unevened plains'.

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  30. Stan Ski16 February 2010 at 14:00

    Well constructed piece.

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  31. Julia Smith16 February 2010 at 19:13

    'watch it reflected in your seductive eyes'

    SO lovely.

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  32. mia16 February 2010 at 19:53

    gautami i like the idea in your
    poem...like writing poetry for you
    is to cherish each word.

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  33. Jill17 February 2010 at 07:05

    This say so much about the beauty language. putting your word in other suite can change completly the meaning!

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  34. Jim17 February 2010 at 11:03

    Tami, don't you just love these word processors of Blogger. They make poetry building a breeze, add a little here, change a word there, make another syllable, etc.

    I don't read mine to Mrs. Jim, thanks for you suggestion. She probably wouldn't like the kind I write.
    Or would her presence take my poetry to a higher plane?"

    After all that, I like this a bunch.
    ..

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  35. swapnap20 February 2010 at 04:54

    Hi There,
    Good one and words definitely have a great sheen here....wonderful read.

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