Sunday, 4 May 2008
clawing crawlies----Read Write Poem/Monday Poetry Train
And come ride the Poetry Train
blighted lights blinked bright
slighting my intelligence.
cooped in the room for so long
eyes to the dashboard
i was trying to decipher signals
never seen before
unknown to earthlinks
large torsoed,
small headed creatures
of outer spaces,
visible through glasses
of the windows in that strange disc
some might call an UFO
those crawly legs, cringed me
clawing at my dry throat
more than elation,
I felt abhorance
no way I was interested
to meet aliens
I prayed for hallucinations
"sometimes spiders have that kind of effect on me"
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Arachnophobia? Not all can stand to face it, especially when it raises the phobic fear.
ReplyDeleteReading this gave me the creepy crawlies!
ReplyDeleteI like the sounds at the beginning! All the rhyme and assonance!
But if you couldn't see them, then would you be interested in meeting aliens. ;)
ReplyDeletemuch like you i have no desire to encounter aliens... ghosts??? now that i wouldn't mind,, but aliens??? no....
ReplyDeletevery nice write....
Wow! Very interesting images you've created.
ReplyDeleteNicely done! You've got me singing David Bowie songs now from the 70s, with his backing band, The Spiders From Mars.
ReplyDeleteYikes! Can't stand 'em either!
ReplyDeleteBut I love how you said it. ;-)
Blessings,
Linda
A SURPRISE ATTACK – A TALE IN RHYME OF A SPIDER BIG-TIME
I can certainly do without aliens or spiders...or aliens that look like spiders :P Nice work with the images you created here!
ReplyDeletei'm ready to be abducted by aliens at any moment. seriously.
ReplyDeletebut imagining them like spiders, that creeped me out a bit. i DON'T like spiders.
you do a great job of getting great-sounding words and sensation in this.
sometimes spiders do seem like aliens!
ReplyDelete'small headed creatures
ReplyDeleteof outer spaces'
This made me think of 1950's sci-fi posters.
Okay, my skin's crawling. Blech.
ReplyDeleteWell, spiders sound better than what I thought the narrator was facing. At least a spider can't eat us!
ReplyDeleteVery creepy.
you write so well; and extremely versatile... almost gave me a creepy feeling visualizing them:)
ReplyDeleteNice write.....a lot of people are creeped out by spiders :-)
ReplyDeletegoosebumps creep up my arms crawl up my neck... oh that's just the fan stirring my hair... whew!
ReplyDeletethanx for visiting my poem re bike riding
A really good way of descriving a phobia! Spider as aliens! Some of you wouldn't be more scare if they were!
ReplyDeleteoh that was very, very good!!!....
ReplyDeleteThe alliteration and rhyme worked well to create more tension and fear... and since I dislike both spiders and aliens... eww, shiver!!!
ReplyDeleteBingo! Hallucinogenic! An eerie feeling creeping up. Hope that was the intention! You have succeeded in that.. Congratulation. First time visitor,...Cheers..kunjubi
ReplyDeletethat was so well presented it gave me the creeps :)
ReplyDeleteYou have some really fun word combinations:
ReplyDelete"eyes to the dashboard
i was trying to decipher signals
never seen before
unknown to earthlinks"
"small headed creatures
of outer spaces"
"those crawly legs, cringed me"
I like spiders, actually, but I wasn't thinking about them initially while reading this... at first I thought it was about you being born... (I have mothers on my mind)