Wednesday, 7 November 2007

at the end of a journey--totally optional prompts



Totally Optional Prompts wants us to write evocative poetry.

I chose a random word from read. write. poem as asked by Jillypoet on her NaBloPoMo page and wrote this 11 line poem. Hope this works for both!


at the end of a journey

you endure an ice-coated carapace,
much like a goldfish swathed by aspic.
heartbeat picking once more to full moon.

rousing too soon onto a gallery of glass,
cavorting dewdrop lets off cold tentacles.
thorns of a plant prickle as you pass.
your voyage outlines obliterated passages
like water wandering in crumbled drains.

skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
veneer of ostensible spirited strength-
giving in, you gaze into vast nothingness.
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16 comments:

  1. Andy Sewina aka Danny Wise8 November 2007 at 01:17

    It all ends in vast nothingness - I feel like I'm floating out into space!

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  2. Jo8 November 2007 at 01:17

    This is very good, Gautami.

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  3. Rethabile8 November 2007 at 02:10

    My, these roots have grown big and strong. Somehow that makes me happy.

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  4. Dennis8 November 2007 at 04:25

    Gautami - this is a particularly well written piece. Very dense imagry. I love the tone and the pace at which it moves

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  5. polka dot witch8 November 2007 at 04:30

    i like the tactile pieces: cold tentacles (tentacles is one of my favorite images to use/read) and thorns of plant prickle.

    thanks for visiting fertile ground, we've slowly allowed it to develop as it wanted to -- organically -- which is totally appropriate for our theme.

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  6. Alan Bender8 November 2007 at 06:35

    I made love to a girl like that... I think it was in Vienna on and educational trip. Thx

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  7. Rambler8 November 2007 at 07:17

    skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
    veneer of ostensible spirited strength

    very good Gautami, liked the feel the word veneer brought to the poem

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  8. Don Iannone8 November 2007 at 08:04

    Excellent!!! WHEN is your book coming out? Write it, Gautami.

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  9. ...deb8 November 2007 at 08:31

    Beautiful words, I loved reading this aloud.

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  10. Holly Mac8 November 2007 at 10:38

    Really wonderful! I love this line..."water wandering in crumbled drains"
    So lovely!

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  11. tumblewords8 November 2007 at 11:01

    Ah, very nice. It takes me away to bigger places...

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  12. Fledgling Poet8 November 2007 at 11:06

    Wow, such wonderful words used to create such vivid images! I'm sorry real life has kept me away from your beautiful poetry...it's good to visit again.

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  13. Linda8 November 2007 at 15:24

    "heartbeat picking once more to full moon" got me right here! (in my heart!) What is it about the moon that just makes a poem? Well done! ~Linda

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  14. my backyard9 November 2007 at 10:24

    poor goldfish...

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  15. homo escapeons9 November 2007 at 10:36

    Evocative indeed.

    I was deeply saddened by every aspic-t of your crush-tacean's carap-lysmic demise.
    I could literally feel Death's icy grip on my own tenta-scles.

    This was about a Lobster getting plucked out of his tank in a busy Restaurant right...
    wasn't it?

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  16. polona9 November 2007 at 11:57

    wonderful imagery here to convey a deep meaning...

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