Phone
Stumbled
Windy
a certain memory captures the moment.
with fine strokes, she sketches in with a pencil stub.
graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning.
windy weather does nothing.
not even make her shiver.
words within her mind are stumbling over each other
falling like a pool of debris.
she watches the soil beneath her bare feet,
clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes.
phone rings. she barely moves.
‘no one knows her here’
So beautiful. So sad.
ReplyDeleteThis line is very lyrical
ReplyDeletewords within her mind are stumbling
I like that!
'No-one knows her here' is my fav.
ReplyDeleteEmbedded thoughts unlike graphite so difficult to erase, oh I love it. Thanks Gautami.
You take such simple words and make something so beautiful, emotional and shape it into a masterpiece. This poem was beautiful. Keep up the good work. I can't help wonder what she was sketching. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day.
Michelle
i have to disagree.....
ReplyDelete"time" is one of the great erasers - and can make the memories fade, and then go.
:)
happy 3WW gautami.
-charles
Some memories cannot be erased even when we want them to be - this is very powerful Gautami.
ReplyDeletePS I REALLY liked last weeks as well!
I like the way the words seem to blend together. Nice.
ReplyDeletevery pretty and bright with images.
ReplyDeleteI love the line... "clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes." The details give great authenticity.
ReplyDelete~S
she feels something not so all together questionable... numb... this is exactly hat that feels like....
ReplyDeleteclutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes - how poetically intersting! Nice!
ReplyDeleteexcellent...felt like a movie scene somehow.
ReplyDeletegraphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! I enjoyed this:)
a woman caught in a moment for a long, long time. makes sad sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI was there watching her, as clearly as on a movie screen.
ReplyDeleteThat's really beautiful. I just thought I'd drop in to wish you luck on NaNoWriMo. Don't forget to have fun!
ReplyDeleteSeems very free-associate, lyrical to me. And beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI especially liked this:
ReplyDelete"graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning."
Mad Kane
I like it all.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Lots of imagery and emotion in this piece.
ReplyDeletenice one gautami. you bring such good images to mind. I also like the last line. No one knows her here. Oh what a suspicious mind!
ReplyDelete..love the image your words portray...it speaks outloud...beautiful...
ReplyDeleteWORDS stumbling... I didn't even think of that. nice 3WW post.
ReplyDeleteA certain memory always captures a moment... makes me wish I could sketch.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you paint an image of an emotional maelstrom. I can definitely identify.
ReplyDeleteOne memory can trigger emotional, even physical, paralysis. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeletewindy weather does nothing.
ReplyDeletenot even make her shiver
That was my favorite part. Some days we are so cold, jaded, hardened, we are oblivious to the weather.
you have pictured a poignant story here
ReplyDeleteOMG! I think this is so BEAUTIFUL!!! wow I love the words, the flow, the image!!! wow!
ReplyDelete