Sunday 20 May 2012

writing on a blank wall

stillness chills the grief
but cannot bend the marrow
flowers will still bloom
when you stare out of your window
the massive crocusses sway
akin to the hips of a buxom dancer in a bar
a flower child of bygone era 
now rotting in secret of her mind clatter
when did the colors fade
when did you invade
perhaps, I made a mistake,
perhaps I have forgotten
another day, another place
might set an even pace

I will find my empty hand,
 filled with jagged time, 
(an impossibility you say;
no, not for me, not for me) 

24 comments:

  1. Those first two lines are exquisite!

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  2. I like the first two lines, as well. I also love the last stanza. Well done.

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  3. Jagged time bites us all...

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  4. This is lovely - and as the others have said, the first two lines are brilliant ... also the last stanza but really, the whole thing is very nice ...

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/05/no-one-would-think.html

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  5. I enjoyed the whole poem but especially the last lines...an "empty hand filled with jagged time"..there are a lot of people inflicted with that disease...

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  6. I agree about the last line....but it is all good and thanks for sharing your words

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  7. your writings are also well written and from the heart. Thanks

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  8. I like the empty hand jagged time...this is a great work!! :)

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  9. Gauthami,

    Read 2 poems now. Tears do clear out one's mind to see things more clearly without shades of grey. This one shows confidence to achieve what one wants inspite of doubts by others.

    Take care

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  10. The 'empty hand' and the 'jagged time' in it paint a moving picture.

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  11. I agree, the first two lines and the jagged time image rise above the rest of the poem.

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  12. I think this is my favorite of this Whirl. Top to bottom beautiful

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  13. stillness chills the grief
    but cannot bend the marrow

    equals

    word majesty.

    =)

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  14. Simply brilliant, especially the last few lines.

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  15. Lovely write.

    "the massive crocusses sway
    akin to the hips of a buxom dancer in a bar
    a flower child of bygone era
    now rotting in secret of her mind clatter" These lines blew me away.

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  16. This is beautifully filled with melancholy thoughts of passing time. Your imagery is wonderful.

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  17. I like the notion of massive crocuses...considering they are so small...nice...

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  18. This is my first visit to your site...am so happy you visited mine...thank you...
    This is lovely...like others, I am drawn to the first two lines and the last stanza...but the entire poem is wonderful.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

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  19. Excellent write. Love the adjectives, very cool. Great read. Thanks

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  20. I enjoy the images and how you weave color into the unfolding of the poem. Just beautiful.

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  21. rhyming away you are - beautifully! :)

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  22. Jagged time === a beautiful phrase and lovely poem. k.

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