Tuesday 21 June 2011

a statement
















fire on your neck
burns the picture frame
square hole on the wall
makes a statement
your eyes lie to me
I hide the discoloured wall
with a tapestry
and write some numbers
in the margins of paradise

"with a twine, tie that ego"

29 comments:

  1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    coz' that's how I feel reading this..how well more can you write? Loved this one...it'd an eerie feel and yet a heritage behind it...mind blowing...! The image each word flashes from your verses creates a woven thread of deceit, pain, and reality! Nice...

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  2. you carry tight emotion in so few words...really well done...

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  3. Gautami, how I have missed your words. Well done to both prompts.

    Pamela

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  4. Right and to the point, strong piece.

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  5. You had me at her burning neck. Accurate and interesting way of describing the image.

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  6. Great poem! Your imagination is excellent. I'd never have thought about the light along her upper neck looking like fire! Great.

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  7. There's the same intensity in your words here as there is in those eyes there...
    A very fine write indeed!

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  8. 'in the margins of paradise' - a fine piece!

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  9. Precise. Simple. Touchable. A common translation of transition here. Beautifully done poem.

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  10. Maybe the margins of paradise are as much as we can reasonably hope for?
    http://www.wonderandlight.com/portfolio/gallery/margins_of_paradise/

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  11. Guatami, I missed your writing, and this is well done. Compact and full.

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  12. This is strong. Every word counts.
    I love the margins of paradise.

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  13. This poem is quite intense! I am curious who she is...

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  14. Nice!
    I really like the light in that picture, but couldn't find a way to catch it. I gave up and wrote a trite poem. You got it perfectly. wow

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  15. If only a tapestry could cover the times we’ve been burned. Covered and forgotten is a dream. Alas, the sting lives on and scars remain.

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  16. Interesting take on the Magpie. Nice OSW

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  17. I could feel the pain and betrayal in this.

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  18. Wow! This poem is filled with so much intrigue. "fire on your neck"...nice

    Beautifully written.

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  19. What an interesting and terrific write. Definitely a lot of emotion in this. : )

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  20. love it - esp. that last two lines...wonderful

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  21. I felt this one......nicely done Gautami

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  22. the fire...her eyes...your insight...amazing.

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  23. I had to keep going back and re-reading this. Compact, powerful enigmatic: 'your eyes lie to me' hint at the story behind what seems like antagonism between poet and portrait subject.

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  24. a powerful statement!
    i loved the intensity!
    plus your vision is something to marvel at..

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  25. Incredible poem, just wow I loved it

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  26. Gautami, I love how you hint at things and let the rest of us try to figure out the meanings. Someone used the word enigmatic and that is the best and closest we might come. Another well written piece that begs one to go back for more,

    Elizabeth

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  27. another fantastic tic write.


    share 1 to 3 poems with poetry potluck week 41 today.

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