Tuesday 28 September 2010

the middle makes it

spurting juice 
I catch it in my mouth
an apple
reminds me of you-
the days we shared

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I talk into it
gibberish, incoherent
my mobile phone
gives me an earful
like the way you did

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it wobbles
like an old man
this chair
I have had for years-
a landmark

`````````````````````````````````````````````
I brush it
a tapestry forms on it
that wall
a witness to my joys
smudges speak of sorrows

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I massage it
with gentle strokes
olive oil
on your skin
smooth as mine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From AppleHouse Poetry Workshop

... of 5 lines where the middle line acts as a pivot, i.e. it can be read in conjunction with the first two lines, or it can be read as the line that leads into the final two.

25 comments:

  1. I loved the creative combination of this...thanks so much for linking with Potluck, your support means so much!! xx

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  2. nice. i like the form...and i was not familiar with it though you play it well...i like the first one..the apple being a lover...nice one shot!

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  3. so clever and nicely done
    each a treat

    Thanks for sharing with One Shot


    moon smiles

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  4. You've used the form very well!

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  5. very nice - I think I like the second one best, for some reason it tugs at my heartstrings

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  6. Very original, I love your creativity.

    loveNlight
    Gabi

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  7. Great use of form... like each individual and it works well as a whole. Nice One Shot!

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  8. Interesting form, and you used it well. Good one shot!

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  9. I like this. It's an interesting form, and you do it well.

    Thanks for your visit.

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  10. i like finding new forms of poetry. yours were all well written with imagery that was very clear.

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  11. Love this interesting form...thanks for sharing!

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  12. This is lovely-- your touch as a writer is confident. I especially like the wobbling chair-- poignant, as we hope that chairs will hold us when we cannot hold ourselves...xj

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  13. INteresting technique, using the middle line as a two-way pivot point - makes one read it differently. Nice One Shot!

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  14. A very interesting and fun group of poems.

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  15. Clever piece, unique in its beauty. Nifty form you use.

    Great Pot Luck and One Shot piece!

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  16. Another innovative work from you this week. I didn't know this form either; but you employ it well. Each acting solo or together as a composite/collage of a couple at home. Well done, you! Thanks, Gay @beachanny

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  17. I LOVE these~ Remind me of Japanese tanka, though the form's syllables don't quite make it....5/7/5/7/7...

    But it doesn't matter~! You got that pivot line right, which I find VERY hard~ LOL~

    These are bright and beautiful gems. And if OneSpotPoetry allows tanka....I am very happy. My very favorite form of poetry. (along with freeverse)

    It's so nice to see a poet inventing in this form. What great freedom and sentiment with so little words. That is magic to me~

    Beautiful poems, and Thank You~!

    Lady Nyo

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  18. lovely range of images and a clever use of the form And binding with briars our joys and desires. Hope your week goes well.

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  19. I liked the concept.
    Words can do wonders sometimes when cleverly weaved.Good job!

    "I brush it
    a tapestry forms on it
    that wall
    a witness to my joys
    smudges speak of sorrows"
    Liked this one the best!:)

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  20. Very Imaginative ... now there are so many forms are coming up that I get bewildered sometimes.. recently started writing Gogyohka at twitter... too
    But anyways, all your verses are so beautiful and all very meaningful... Thanks for sharing the new style..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog:http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  21. Love the old man chair and the phone - they both reminded me of me. Your poetry is an exploration, which makes it worthwhile and such a creative, good read. Keep writing!!

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