Wednesday 18 August 2010

dance of the zeroes

baked in the hot sun
ripe like a pineapple
I moisten my dry lips
summer hates me

zeroes dance in front of my eyes
I plant myself in deep pit
hose my feet while pots jump

stream of thoughts flow like silk
I have blown those away
cars zoom past
I let flies trouble me


26 comments:

  1. And its OK.. isn't it Gautami..flies will fly away..and new verse of comfort will take birth.. would be waiting..

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  2. a lovely poem, love the title too

    summer hates me - I can identify with that, sun dries me out

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  3. nicely done. :-) I like the flow.

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  4. I really get a picture of a HOT summer here. I love "zeroes dance in front of my eyes."

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  5. I love the idea of summer hating you. This is great, Gautami. Well done!

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  6. If our summers were ever that hot they would hate me too!

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  7. and me. I sympathised and cheered when you found the hose to cool your feet.

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  8. It seems like a heat advisory from the weather service is a daily occurrence this year. I sympathize, summer hates me as well. Excellently craft poem!

    -Weasel =)

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  9. My favorite line... 'stream of summer flows like silk' Beautiful. I'm surprised summer hates you, lol. By the way, I love the title, too.

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  10. oops, meant 'stream of thoughts flow like silk' ...

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  11. Isn't it odd how much we look forward to the release that summer seems to promise, but then must realize that summer might not feel the same, might even hate us for that burden of expectations. Love the title and the creative use of the words.

    Elizabeth

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  12. Gautami the summer hates me too...
    but I love this poem!
    Pamela

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  13. I'm with you on summer.
    hose the feet--good idea.

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  14. beautiful words but your summer sounds too hot, today it's cool and rainy here :)

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  15. I like the enormity of "summer hates me."

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  16. Great connections here, I'm not sure if you're plant or person. :) Well done!

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  17. This does have a riddle-like quality that is apropos of Joseph's comment. We almost expect the question, "What am I?" to follow.

    Baked in the hot sun is how I feel in he summer. Enjoyed this!

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  18. This is lovely, gautami! I like the last few lines especially.

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  19. I love your poem Gautami! As others have said, "summer hates me" is a great phrase. I like what you did with the prompt, creating meaning so efficiently with all 14 words!

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  20. I love the image you've painted with the wordle. The last line really shows how exhausting heat can be.

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  21. oh, summer hates me too Gautami.. makes me dry like in an oven.. roasted..!

    Leo's

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  22. The flies are the worst part of the baking season. Excellent piece!

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  23. Really good take on the prompt, even though you used the same idea of summer heat, you brought a difference to it! (Damn flies!)

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  24. Great imagery. I especially like that last stanza

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  25. Yes you weave a spell of summer..

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