Wednesday, 29 July 2009

patronising darkness weakens me

patronises me
I weaken

under its spell
I clutch my purse
wearing heels

I go downtown
drinking like a fish
I pirouette

away my sorrows
flitting from body to body
seeking oblivion

"on my way home, I will steal the kids"


  1. dark...painful and excrucifying..

  2. you call mine scary?

    this is scrayyy!!!

    i shuddered!

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  3. Yikes! Something to be said about heels :).

    Hope you are feeling better.

  4. "I pirouette
    away my sorrows"

    Awesome line!

    You paint quite a picture here! I love it even though it makes me sad.

  5. Interesting, but I'm still pondering the last line.

  6. Wow, G, this really is most powerful. It does paint a picture, but it sets a mood, too.

    The Path

  7. Love how it builds up to the end--and very dark

  8. Dark and yet wonderful! I like how it builds. :)

  9. Leave 'em wanting more. Good call on ending this in such a mysterious fashion.

    Well done!

  10. So there! Showing your stuff - I don't get the part about the kids, though...hmmm. Nice work! Hope you're feeling well.

  11. The end left me hanging - seeking for maybe something more?

    Awesome... like others say, dark, but still great!

  12. I love something about the "on my way home" part. As in, "On my way home, I'll pick up some bread for toast in the morning." "On my way home, I'll fill the gas tank." "On my way home, I will steal the kids."

    Uh huh.

  13. Dark and intriguing. This left me wondering if the narrator was speaking with intent or just out of drunken illogic, soon forgotten. I guess I won't get to find out.

  14. Drink to forget - and remember!

  15. Well, G'tami, I appear to be in the minority with this. I don't feel the darkness. In fact, this is more celebratory to me. The infection of the evening drawing us away from the practicality of our daily struggles in search of some respite. I find nothing scary in Piscean indulgence and mingling on the dance floor. I rather enjoyed that!

  16. I tried to see this the way Michael saw it.. after all I love to see the positive in things.. BUT 'flitting from body to body seeking oblivion' I only see darkness there and the imagery of a beautiful high heeled woman consumed with pain.
    I imagined a very long tale in a few perfectly chosen words.

  17. I see someone who's lost, trying to escape life's hurt and the solution not necessarily the one which will bring salvation. Well written.