Wednesday 8 July 2009

a day in a child's life

gloom has descended on that child
transparent tears pour over his cheeks
I kneel in front of him
wiping those as best as I can
HE IS UNCONSOLED
tears flow even after I wipe
he too kneels down
his espressions so transparent
loaded heavily with gloom

nothing is sadder for a little boy
other than a broken toy
I MEND IT AS BEST AS I CAN
he breaks down again
sadness replaces unbidden joy

26 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this poem, especially the structure of the first stanza. You're a very talented poet. :)

    --Anna
    Diary of an Eccentric

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved this one. Gloomy or not, I always look forward to your vivid imagination and wonderful way with words!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, those tears can pull us along. Excellently done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The construction of this is excellent. And the images riveting. Gloomy, yes, but with feeling. And that counts for something.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sometimes a child can't be consoled no matter what. It just takes time for him to release all his sadness. Well written, as always. Hope all is well. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You do marvelous things with words.

    great job!

    ReplyDelete
  7. you leave me amazed !!!! loved this :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was me last weekend with my granddaughter! Wow, you totally captured it perfectly!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You nailed it:) I love the visual of the inconsolable kid...

    I am in a gloomy mood too :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. The mood was captured to perfection.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Excellent uses of these words ... love the twists in meaning from beginning to end of poem. Wonderful.

    Peace,
    JP/deb

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a lovely poem, so true to the sometimes dark spirit of childhood. You are endlessly clever.

    ReplyDelete
  13. cleverly done - it IS a day in a child's life... enjoyable read!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love the construction here. So nicely done, as always.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Brings a tear to my eyes!
    Well written!
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  16. i liked this...

    you really have a way with words...

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love it...and I want to give him a hug!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I mend them as best I can, too, but unfortunately I can not mend them very well. Very little is sadder than a broken toy, especially one bought with one's own money at a special place.

    ReplyDelete
  19. The scene is everyday-like. But the rhythmn is taking me with it.

    Best wishes
    Ralf

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your poem is alive with the simple way to please a child! If only we always remembered that simple is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  21. it's not as gloomy as I expected, I thought something more tragic than a broken toy, but that can mean more to a child than anything else, makes me think of a parent trying to soothe a child, something almost intimidate in a way

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow..great innocent emotions...well put...I like it

    ReplyDelete
  23. well written...
    the pain of the child, was well structured in the poem...

    ReplyDelete