Monday, 15 June 2009

spooky does it..

he arrived dead tired into the farm-

stopped at the stables, tended the horses
his own soothing words made him fall asleep
in his waking dreamy state he saw
a lantern light from deeper in the barn
shone on a man and woman in the door-

step, their raised voices got to him
he rose and walked towards them

he stumbled on a weed and fell on the door
when he got inside the room to see more
like two kids they were lying on the floor
having fistfights over an stupid apple core


  1. Well that certainly wasn't the ending I was expecting :-)

  2. i like the way you mix up styles, you're always good with surprises.

  3. Having lived on a farm I enjoyed reading this one very much. Great twist at the end. Hope all is well.

  4. Too funny! I like the rhyming at the end!

  5. Great work with a nice surprise It is not always as we think it is

  6. an ending with fistfights..:) I like that.

  7. Those pesky kids. Good one!

  8. This is an enjoyable read. I like that you completely changed the form and voice in the last stanza by using rhyme.

  9. unexpected ending but I like the build-up