Wednesday 17 December 2008

book of myth or reality?

when i got to the book of myths,
i hesitated as i was scared to open it
my utmost fear being it might be truer
than what i had envisaged till date
still i had to open it
i loaded the camera
put on the awkward mask
with rubberised gloves
i flipped it open

a sweet smell hit my nose
almost gagging me
i saw ladders beyond the doors
within the book, which
beckoned me. i climbed down
each rung with care
yellow light surrounded me
following each of my movements
in the cold moist air

although i do feel a warmth
coming out of nowhere
a paradox in midst of snowy
hills, yellowy light dimming
fading away completely
a green aura is visible
my camera capturing it all
i see a broken glass
picking up i see my life enfolding

which had been lost in the sea
of neglected human sounds hurled
from the top of the vastness
of the sky. jealously i guard
my secret hiding the glass in my pocket
wherein i find my lost knife
which cuts deep into my palm
my blood spurts out almost pleasing me

out there in the open,
my funeral is celebrated followed by
a great feast. No wonder I smile
from my book of myths,
did I not know it would come true?
come watch all the fun
captured in my camera.
would it be too much to say
i relish the show that came out of my death?

Diving into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich inspired this post. It is a rough draft. However, that is ok with me.

33 comments:

  1. Rough draft or not, very good work here.

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  2. "...a paradox in midst of snowy
    hills..."

    This passage talks to me. Nice!

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  3. Wow, rough draft? What a wonderful poem.

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  4. Well done first draft - the imagery speaks to me...

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  5. i really like the mystic feel of the whole piece....

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  6. This is very deep and a liitle dark. The bit about spurting blood made me feel a bit dizzy, but I really enjoyed the rest of it even though it was in a draft

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  7. I get an image of someone sitting on a cloud looking down at the world after death. Very cool!

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  8. what a vision, would anyone imagine one's one demise in this fashion, full life and the sweet hereafter? guess it's all a matter of perspective

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  9. Reality and myth - an excellent take on the prompt.

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  10. interesting :)

    liked the flow of the poem ...

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  11. Rough draft or nor Gautami, I am really taken by the scope of your vision in this piece... fascinating! ;)

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  12. Good thoughts, nice images, I'd like to see what else you captured in your camera.

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  13. If rough draft is soo good, would love to see the final version.

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  14. I like the way it respects the spirit of the original poem "Diving into ..." with its own elements (broken glass, etc. employed.

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  15. I don't think you need to change a thing.

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  16. what an intriguing poem ... it's beautifully written. Makes me one to do one similar :)

    Here from Sunday Scribbling - aloha!

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  17. How cool to find a book so alive - so fleshy and fluid!

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  18. I like the images invoked here.

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  19. Magical can you get back out of the book when you want to. That would be good.

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  20. hey gauthami!
    This is so cool..
    nice write girl!!

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  21. intriguing! the second paragraph pulled me in.

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  22. Dear Gautami,

    First, thank you sincerely for visiting my poetry journal. :) It is much appreciated.

    Second, I can see how this is a rough draft that just needs a bit more of a skeleton and clean up, but other than that, I love the various phrases you used in here that makes me want to go into that book of myths and explore my world like Narnia books. :)

    Here are some of my favorite lines:

    "a paradox in midst of snowy / hills..."

    "lost in the sea / of neglected human sounds hurled / from the top of the vastness / of the sky..."

    Simply enjoyable. I'm sure the final draft of this poem will be even better. :)

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  23. Very nice.....I am glad you didn't write about "Late" because you were the first person that posted this week. You were early!!!

    I can't wait to see the final draft. You will have a lot of pain in the editing process. Yet, each prune that you make may end up as a story of it's own.

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  24. Just brilliant. What a vivid picture you've painted here.

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  25. hahah. i agree with whitesnake!! :) and that was a beautiful poem.

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  26. Very well done. "Rough draft," eh? Wow.

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  27. g... wow, a most enjoyable read... i can see how adrienne's poem sparked a muse... it is good to stretch yes!!!

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  28. Hi,
    Enjoyable writing. Rough drafts for you are like finished products for others! Especially liked envisioning those rungs and your comparison to exploring a new book, perhaps in a cave. Yes, I see what you mean about the comment you left on my blog. I had a strong feeling you had written a new poem!

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