 |
| Copy Right © 2012 Hannah Gosselin ~ Pier Post Persisting |
trembled stones brush the earth
willow trees sway in the wind
casting shadows on me
slush and mud rub into me
the stain on my clothes I can bear
the image imprinted in my corona
I cannot see
who called the bluffs
my mind asks
when I hold a log
my nail snags
you could have it all
all of me,
all of my possessions
but you escaped in that vessel
into deep waters
which will take you far away
"from my strategic point
I watch the vessel sink into deep waters,
loving the smell of mud on my skin"
Interesting poem. Is the vessel and person drowned or have they gone to sea?
ReplyDelete~Naila Moon
http://writing-out-of-the-blue.blogspot.com/2012/06/having-it-alla-story-106-words-only.html
I enjoyed the mystery in this. Lovely image painting as well.
ReplyDeleteSad and poignant, with a hint of darkness in the final, italicized lines. Did the ship sink? And did the narrator derive some sinister satisfaction from that? Many unanswered questions here...
ReplyDeleteYes, some mystery here. I could feel the mud, and the poem made me wonder about the story behind it.
ReplyDeleteAre you that vessel?~Ames
ReplyDeleteOh, I so love that you picked this photo of mine to use with the wordle words this week...they really fit the image amazingly well. This is such a sensory piece and your closing stanza in quotations is very effective...brings your poem another whole layer of meaning. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely mystery...perhaps poetic justice to see the one forsaking being swallowed in deep water.
ReplyDeleteVery deep food for thought on this lovely poem!
ReplyDeleteI love the images I see when I read this poem.
ReplyDeleteI love the ambiguity. Excellent write, Gautami.
ReplyDeleteNice one, Gautami.
ReplyDeleteLove the photo, too.
=)
Loved that this can be interpreted in many ways, there in lies the beauty of it.
ReplyDeleteA great vignette, beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThis oozes a desperate strength and a promise of not giving up. Love that part in the end with the quotation marks, wow...you hit it out of the park.
ReplyDeletewell-written poem and you paint wonderful images with your words....
ReplyDeleteI read this as a metaphor for the ending of a relationship. You've done a good job of creating atmosphere and a bit of mystery. Enjoyed it, Gautami.
ReplyDeleteSounds like revenge is best served cold indeed. I also hear a note of Medea in this. The ending is chilling.
ReplyDeleteYou quench the thirst of grey cells... imagination....I couldn't hold myself from following your blog...
ReplyDeletesweet escape. sweet surrender. nicely done!
ReplyDeleteGautami,
ReplyDeleteRead 2 poems now. Though both seem to have commonality - Love, but differ a lot.
Take care
Mysterious writing so we can all imagine our own scenarios.
ReplyDeleteYou really excel at this style of writing.
I love how you do this.