Sunday, 22 November 2009

ode to remnants of love










sitting well after midnight
I call you on the telephone
trying to save you from yourself

you are sick and do not answer
the waste of my love hits me hard
I have always wondered about the remnants

in that vacuumed state
my heart aches,
and a drousy numbness pains my senses

I watch the red coals, burning,
flashing and dying-
sitting well after midnight

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My heart aches, and a drousy numbness pains my senses" is the opening line of John Keats ‘Ode to a Nightingale’
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17 comments:

  1. Book Bird Dog22 November 2009 at 07:47

    I like this one. Reminds me of trying to reach a son in another state, at times when I've been in "a state" of worry :)

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  2. Cynthia Short22 November 2009 at 11:57

    I admire your ability to write about all the different nuances of personal relationships...always managing to find something poignant to say.

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  3. gs batty22 November 2009 at 19:56

    the heart break of waiting, hoping
    and not knowing what comes next certainly leads to a pained heart.
    Old Grizz

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  4. Lorraine23 November 2009 at 03:52

    You are so talended Gataumi... a poet/writer/philosopher

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  5. sage23 November 2009 at 06:33

    I see myself sitting by the fireplace, phone lying on the floor... Nicely done.

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  6. Beth P.23 November 2009 at 07:04

    ah, the dregs...

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  7. Vita Stunder23 November 2009 at 10:12

    I loved this one!
    You create a wonderful mood in your poetry - be proud of that :)

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  8. illyria taylor24 November 2009 at 14:16

    superb as usual.

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  9. wordvamp24 November 2009 at 18:02

    yes, you are excellent again as always.

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  10. Gilson24 November 2009 at 20:24

    Hi Gautami! Beautiful writing.

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  11. Sepiru Chris25 November 2009 at 04:42

    Hi Gautami,

    Whenever I am in Delhi next, cruising for books in those great bookstores, I would love to meet you for tea. Or a lassi.

    You write very well.

    I love the gentle repetition, of the opening/closing lines. And that you spun the poem out of Keats, but with vastly different intent and positioning? Well, that is certainly fun in my books.

    Tschuess,
    Chris

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  12. swapnap25 November 2009 at 09:13

    Good one Gautami...the red charcoals burning accentuated the despair even more.

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  13. Cassiopeia Rises25 November 2009 at 11:16

    Tami, I just love the flow of your words and the so sad image you paint.


    love, Melanie

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  14. Jane Doe26 November 2009 at 08:55

    Absolutely wonderful. It is full of emotion, powerful and raw. Very well done.

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  15. Bone26 November 2009 at 12:33

    "the waste of my love" and "a vacuumed state"

    Those are great lines.

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  16. Jeeves28 November 2009 at 07:36

    Vaccumed state and heart aches. Wonderful words etched here

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  17. Selma29 November 2009 at 04:59

    There is a starkness about the imagery you use in this poem which is really effective in conveying a sense of hopelessness. This is one of your best.

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