Thursday, 31 January 2008

singing cherries---Friday 5/Friday Fiction


with his fingers in that blue porcelain cherry bowl
he picked a few, popped those into his mouth.
without discarding pips, he started singing
those notes going off key.

Unaware of those strange stares he kept on,
lost in a world of his own.
No more cherries left now, he suddenly stopped,
finding himself in a beach-side restaurant.

all were quiet save him; he wished for the ground
to crack up and swallow him whole
without a single word he got up.
walking as hurriedly as the sand would allow him.

waiter bore the brunt of it
as he had forgotten to pay for those cherries.

Friday 5: brunt, crack, key, cherry, discard

[Fiction] Friday Challenge for February, 1 2008: Your character was lost in her own thoughts. When she snaps back to reality, she realizes she was singing out loud. Unfortunately, she wasn't somewhere private. How embarrassing... Take it from there.
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23 comments:

  1. Michelle Johnson31 January 2008 at 06:04

    What a wonderful poem/ story you have given here today. Your writing creates such a vivid picture. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day. Happy Writing~

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  2. gunj31 January 2008 at 06:07

    cute one!! :)

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  3. trinitystar31 January 2008 at 09:18

    evoked a good visual. I love people watching.
    hugs for you

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  4. floots31 January 2008 at 10:27

    i loved this moment
    (and definitely empathised with the character)
    thank you

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  5. Tikkis31 January 2008 at 10:50

    Tasty!

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  6. paisley31 January 2008 at 14:38

    very cute guatami... i agree that would be embarrassing.....

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  7. Susan Helene Gottfried31 January 2008 at 15:54

    Oh, that's great! You know I like story poems and this one just rocks.

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  8. lissa31 January 2008 at 18:43

    nice story/poem. I enjoy reading it. thanks.

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  9. Booklogged31 January 2008 at 19:21

    Holy smokes! You are good! I'm impressed.

    Also impressed that you read 11 books this month. I made it to 10 - which is a new record for me.

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  10. mariacristina31 January 2008 at 19:48

    Another interesting, quirky tale from you, gautami.I can always count on you to entertain me, or reveal something new.

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  11. deathsweep1 February 2008 at 05:42

    That was really nice - you sure know how to paint a picture with your words!

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  12. watermaid1 February 2008 at 05:48

    You've done agreat job with the prompt words. I liked especially, your use of the word 'key' and the poor waiter bearing 'the brunt of it'. :o)

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  13. Square11 February 2008 at 07:56

    I echo watermaid. This was a wonderful combination of the two prompts.

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  14. Pearl1 February 2008 at 10:13

    Could happen to anyone I suppose. funny scene.

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  15. tumblewords1 February 2008 at 10:28

    Funny scene! Good job using both prompts...!

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  16. pjd1 February 2008 at 12:21

    bummer for the waiter. Especially since he had to suffer the off-key singing.

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  17. pia1 February 2008 at 12:32

    I felt sorry for the waiter also
    You make everything come so alive

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  18. LittleWing1 February 2008 at 13:22

    as always your words portray vivid pictures... i cannot help but to laugh ... it was that blue porcelain bowl...

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  19. AnnieElf1 February 2008 at 13:26

    I just love to people watch and catching people behaving naturally and without affectation is so filled with potential for storytelling. Children are the best when they act in unaffected ways. Adults are harder so so much better when they ARE caught unaware. Nice little story, this.

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  20. Marcia (MeeAugraphie)1 February 2008 at 20:31

    Such fun, wonder if he will eat cherries in public again.

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  21. keith hillman2 February 2008 at 08:11

    Really clever! A lovely piece as always

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  22. polona2 February 2008 at 11:57

    oh... you make me empathise with the character

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  23. anthonynorth2 February 2008 at 15:20

    Sadly I don't eat cherries even in private. Yuck!
    But a lovely post.

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