Saturday, 19 January 2008

leveller----Sunday Scribblings

any path traversed was filled with travellers like her
looking out for wealth, a few for their lost souls
on much thumbed map, folded into itself
bonded by despondency, blank eyes, lined face
sleepily she examines each face
tightly holding on to her umbrella
big black one like the darkest of nights
she wishes for thundering rains to cleanse people of their thoughts

sky breaks into two, lightning splits forth into resounding doom
each face turns above somehow divested of gloom
nature always comes into aid of fellow travellers

slowly she walks away, parasol clutched to her side,
humming a tuneless song with no words
disintegrating into waters of paradise
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31 comments:

  1. Whitesnake19 January 2008 at 02:21

    very well done

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  2. Robin19 January 2008 at 04:39

    I like the image of travellers out looking for their lost souls. Dark, but somehow not overwhelmingly so.

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  3. Raven19 January 2008 at 05:29

    Lovely. The stormy days and the stormy lives are a build up of emotion, waiting for the flash of insight/lightning to open the gates and let the waters of rain or tears wash ur the soul and heavens, making way for more.

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  4. Remiman19 January 2008 at 05:46

    gautami,
    So true that the rain shows no favorites; it falls on all alike!
    Nice piece.
    rel

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  5. Ghost Particle19 January 2008 at 06:03

    i love this...feel the moment and the mood.

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  6. footlights19 January 2008 at 06:14

    beautiful spirituality!!

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  7. Elspeth19 January 2008 at 06:19

    Intriguing and simple.

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  8. Don Iannone19 January 2008 at 06:52

    Such a wonderful portrayal of life. Ah but the rain washes away all tears. Best wishes to you, Gautami.

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  9. rebecca19 January 2008 at 07:29

    well done....quite lovely

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  10. Herb Urban19 January 2008 at 08:42

    I love a good rainstorm. All the expensive makeup and hair products men and women use to hide their insecurities about who they are get washed away just the same. I love how you use rain as an emotional cleansing. Brilliantly done.

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  11. tumblewords19 January 2008 at 10:23

    Nicely layered and deep. Rain is a cleanser of many things.

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  12. Shari19 January 2008 at 12:06

    I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for reading mine, and for the compliment.

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  13. Kai C.19 January 2008 at 12:33

    beautiful

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  14. keith hillman19 January 2008 at 16:08

    Another of your simple yet beautiful pieces.

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  15. Pat Paulk19 January 2008 at 16:32

    I guess we all have our storms and lost days. Well done Gautami!!

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  16. Preethi19 January 2008 at 16:45

    amazing.. despite the looking for the lost souls et al, its actually quite cheery!! Its really nice how you have written this!!

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  17. Linda19 January 2008 at 16:54

    Your descriptions are right on and your word choices are perfct! I can see them all there. I can see their feelings. Takes talent!

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  18. paisley19 January 2008 at 18:26

    very nice guatami....

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  19. Sherry19 January 2008 at 18:50

    I like the darkness of this..the singularity yet the "joining" with others...looking for???? And we are never alone...other souls are with us.

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  20. Marcella Paliekara19 January 2008 at 22:17

    Beautiful phraseology.

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  21. John Tran20 January 2008 at 00:38

    Nice imagery. Love this phrase:
    "humming a tuneless song with no words".

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  22. Prats20 January 2008 at 04:20

    *nature always comes into aid of fellow travellers

    So true.....always the aura of our bountiful nature will disperse gloom

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  23. myrtle beached whale20 January 2008 at 06:44

    you are as deep as I am shallow.

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  24. Jennifer Hicks20 January 2008 at 08:45

    sensational piece!

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  25. Heather Kathleen20 January 2008 at 10:19

    cleansing rain and lost souls...beautiful.

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  26. Tammy20 January 2008 at 10:56

    Well done as always and I loved
    "a few for their lost souls
    on much thumbed map, folded into itself
    bonded by despondency, blank eyes, lined face."

    You inspire me! XXOO

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  27. tricia stirling20 January 2008 at 15:33

    lovely.

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  28. susiej.com20 January 2008 at 19:15

    Robin sad it best -- dark, but I could sense some light there too. Great.

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  29. Frances21 January 2008 at 10:03

    The big black umbrella becoming a parasol after the lightning is a great image.
    As always I enjoyed my visit here.
    Namaste

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  30. forgetfulone21 January 2008 at 13:42

    Ah, very nice! I wasn't inspired by this week's prompt, but you definitely were.

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  31. UL22 January 2008 at 06:26

    Makes so much sense...loved the title - leveller.

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