Sunday 5 February 2012

gunned down

metallic sheen of that dart
fuses into a dubious scar
ruins send me into an exile
my rebellion streak saves me
your petulant smile revolts me
I hide behind billows of dust
latch of that trap door opens up for me
I fall down listening to staccato of guns

if there is a lesson in all this
I can't see it
it isn't a case of sour grapes
it is more like I lost my grip

"I am caught in the quagmire of war-
of words or bullets, I know not"

17 comments:

  1. Gunned down by words or bullets..each leaves it's own distinct scar and dust..another interesting and clever write..Jae

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  2. Gautami, this is an excellent contribution. I like the voice in the second stanza. The final couplet seals the narrator's discontent.

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  3. This is one of my favorite Sunday Whirls! I, too, like the ending.

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  4. Sometimes words can hurt every bit as much as bullets do, and, the scars might never heal.
    Fabulous, descriptive, writing.

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  5. "if there is a lesson in all this I can't see." That is indeed very frustrating. Very nice, reflective piece.

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  6. The horrors of war. Well penned, Gautami.

    Pamela

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  7. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm at war with/against the wordle words. quagmire, indeed.

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  8. What an indictment of the conflicts we see around the world. When patriotism and honour are our spurs to aid devious, unseen and hideous plans.

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  9. my rebellion streak saves me
    your petulant smile revolts me

    Love those lines

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  10. Your words are very powerful. So often we can't see the lesson in the things that are happening.

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  11. "it isn't a case of sour grapes
    it is more like I lost my grip"

    Nice how you get to this surprising take.

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  12. war wether in words or reality are both a waste of life...

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  13. the parallel is spot on. the end is tight and sticks.

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  14. This is quite the amazing poem. It's different from most of your poetry.

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  15. My last comment sounds bad. It's not that your other poems aren't amazing~this simply shows the depth of your writing.

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  16. interesting energy in these words!

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