Monday, 22 October 2007

taking over-----Writers Island

This time we are to let our imaginations run with the strangers.

walking through the jungle,
the elephant was tired
with a long sigh,
he plopped on the ground
smashing a pumpkin.

orange/yellow muck resembled
massive elephant droppings.
turtle chuckled when lion
stepped over it, wrinkling its nose-
ran to the nearest stream to wash.

crocodile hated the smelly water
fishes sniggered soundlessly,
frogs jumped gleefully upstream,
unaware of the cacophony
elephant fell asleep shortly

dreaming of the landings, it had
come across, while journeying
that massive moving thing
which did not have a head
for that matter, not even a tail.

little did he know, man had
conquered jungles, taking
over the domain hitherto
belonging to the wilderness.
lion was no longer king

elephant did not have the
courage to tell the animals
of all that he saw, letting them
live in their paradise
of ignorance for a little while

bickering over petty things
loving/hating each others
undoing, blissfully oblivious
of the great evil known as
human beings taking over

pachyderm turns over
willing himself to shut out
the horror, lets sleep take over
the terrifying images away-
maybe he had a nightmare.

‘soon to be strangers in their own land’

35 comments:

  1. what a journey into the soul of the writer and the story told. yet this does not point to a hopeless ending, this gives hope of something more important...that we know what's happening.

    nice/.

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  2. and we humans are the true cowards to turn and ignore our own acts of corruption while the innocent suffer and can do nothing

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  3. Nice concept playing off of the "elephants never forget". I love the personification of each animal.

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  4. The lion was no longer king and "living in the paradise of ignorance" Very powerful clear message. Thanks

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  5. Humankind is its own worst enemy. First we conquered the habitat of the animal kingdom, then we made an unholy mess of our own.

    This is a wonderful piece of writing!

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  6. Very good, Gautami......I like how you brought your idea through gentle rhyme to stark conclusion.

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  7. It starts off so simple and innocent, then almost effortlessly you begin to weave in the tragic but inevitable conclusion. It's captivating Gautami.

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  8. Fairytale beginning and nightmare ending ... so sad what humans can do ... but a beautiful piece

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  9. This is a wonderful, fable like poem~yes, we humans can be the most dangerous strangers of all.

    Well done!

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  10. this was a breathtaking journey... we all see it,, but with what power will we act????

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  11. This was superb. Brought quite a few feelings, "shame" stands out the most - for being human - having the intelligence yet not using it right..thank you.

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  12. Elephants do seem to know something we don't.

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  13. A very original poem and philosophy. Well done, Guatami!

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  14. I have to say only a teacher could have written this, So beautiful, yet touching such a sensitive subject.

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  15. Nice touches throughout! Strangers in the strongest sense emerge.

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  16. This is a wonderfully unique take on this prompt. You take on the gentle, loping tone of the elephant so well in the way you constructed the stanzas. It's pitch perfect. And the ending, amazing!

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  17. Life through the eyes of the animal world, how much wisdom though in those written lines. Nice write

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  18. Good job, Gautami! (Would you consider changing "living" to "live" in the lines: letting them/ live in their paradise/ of ignorance....?)

    Great story thread!

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  19. Nicely done! I love the new look for your blog as well. :-)

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  20. Oh, I like this very much as it has so many layers. Nice dicotomy and tension too.

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  21. gautami,
    Strangers indeed we are! Stranger still to each other.
    You see clearly that which others prefer to ignore.
    Well done.
    rel

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  22. we r all familiar strangers :)

    Keshi.

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  23. I like the tale told here. Good work--and I appreciate how you try new ideas, approaches.

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  24. Elephants trouble us because they live as long as we do but unlike us they supposedly never forget.
    An outstanding choice for your witness to the upheaval and mayhem that we have exacted upon our planet.

    I am curious why you chose the critically endangered Indian Lion as your deposed Monarch when Occidentals like myself regard the Tiger as the de facto King of the Indian Jungleland.
    Too much Kipling eh?

    We Humans struggle with our ascendancy..we miraculously evolved from that 'red in tooth and claw' environment despite being regarded by some of our neighbours as a prey item and a predator to others.

    I have no doubt that Mother Earth will devise some sort of herd thinning solution for us before we chop down the last forest. What goes around, comes around.

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  25. A sense of Kipling for the 21st century, I feel!

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  26. What a great way to get the point of across of man vs nature. I felt so bad for elephant. Still do....

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  27. Very nice, visually it grabbed me!
    xo
    Gillian

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  28. This was my favorite part:


    blissfully oblivious
    of the great evil known as
    human beings taking over

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  29. Tami, what great and moving poem... I just love your quote from "Stranger In a Strange Land" (BTW, it was a great read) Your words are right on the spot. I read this morning about more poor elephants killed because they were hungry. We humans have over run their feeding grounds. Animals in the wild are disappearing at a rapid pace. As if humans think that animals have no concept or fear....
    I just loved your striking imagery...

    love,Melanie

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  30. You made it all come alive..Such beautiful imagery.Very Moving& sad.Loved it.

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  31. You are a weaver of stories that evoke the imagination and remind the heart of its responsibilities to all living things... You do have grat imagery as well...

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  32. what a great fable!
    powerful and sad message with just a glint of hope...

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