Wednesday, 3 August 2011

hibernation revisited




















I want to hibernate for eternity
but the earth's gravity
sings a teasing ditty

I want to hibernate for eternity
but life's nitty-gritty
spares no pity

I want to hibernate for eternity
but this piercing city
offers a diversity

I want to hibernate for eternity
but the bear, who appears to be smutty
sings me a ditty

I want to hibernate for eternity
dose or medicinal quantity
make me feel bitty

"I quit being a minute entity"

Goldilocks and the Three BearsGoldilocks and the Three Bears (Picture Puffin Books)Goldilocks
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18 comments:

  1. Cynthia3 August 2011 at 07:52

    Oh my gosh this is so adorable!
    The lyrical quality is very
    appealing, as is the picture that
    marries well with your words.

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  2. Sheilagh Lee3 August 2011 at 08:35

    wow very interesting and adorable

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  3. jaerose3 August 2011 at 08:48

    The repetition is like a poke in the ribs by a big bear's claws..keeping you up..though you try and try to sleep..wonderful piece..Jae

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  4. vivinfrance3 August 2011 at 11:27

    good rhyming.

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  5. Angel3 August 2011 at 12:50

    Interesting style.

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  6. oldegg3 August 2011 at 15:15

    What a lot of fun this piece is. Not a lot of room on the bed for both you and the bear. He will have to hibernate alone I expect after the smutty ditty.

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  7. Marja4 August 2011 at 03:42

    Just love it

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  8. Chris4 August 2011 at 10:44

    Awesome poem, want to rap with the verses :-)

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  9. Marianne4 August 2011 at 10:54

    This was a great prompt to write to! I love your response. Very clever!

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  10. sharplittlepencil4 August 2011 at 13:05

    Love how the girl is the one who wants to hibernate, but the bear is keeping her up! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/crucifixion-texas-style/

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  11. WyomingDiva4 August 2011 at 14:36

    Very clever and engaging rhythm!

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  12. brenda w4 August 2011 at 15:50

    I enjoyed this Guatami. With all the prompt site closings, perhaps you would like to join us at The Sunday Whirl, where I post a wordle every Sunday at 12:01 a.m. Poems are posted all week that include the wordle words. We'd love to have you join.
    ~Brenda

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  13. imnotaverse5 August 2011 at 00:54

    I like the consistent rhyme.

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  14. barbara5 August 2011 at 13:26

    fun
    I know that feeling
    (minus the smutty bear)

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  15. irene5 August 2011 at 15:27

    I want a smutty bear to sing me a ditty. The brain work here is amazing.

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  16. Madeleine Begun Kane6 August 2011 at 22:55

    Ha! That's really good.

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  17. neil reid8 August 2011 at 02:43

    Identity is always an interesting issue. And I'd agree, the shift in desires here, bear with girl, is an interesting point of view for your poem here. Great idea!

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  18. MM29 August 2011 at 02:08

    Great poem, very interesting. I'm intrigued to know why the bear is smutty o_0

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