shadows of rain hide you and I
from misty drops of pure sunshine
in the ramshackle barns
broken down houses
abandoned factories
you find me with desperation
I find you for inspiration
love becomes a meaningless word
cloaked in the fog of our need
when my bones stick into yours
our mutual hunger surfaces
we demolish each crumb
as if starved from eternity
and beyond if that was possible
satiation is still far away
yet that hunger has some meaning
misty drops of pure sunshine
hides you and I from shadows of rain
ah, darling, this soul imagery is exquisite.
ReplyDeletei'll second Vennie first...
ReplyDeletei'll go on to add the way u started makes the readers want to continue.. and the way u ended leaves me wanting more!
lovely writeup! :)
My OSI:Memories
fantastic as always!
ReplyDeleteI love the structure of this.
ReplyDeleteThat fog clings to everywhere. Excellently done.
ReplyDeletewow...too good dear:)..loved a lot:)
ReplyDeleteLiked the way you have separated and put forth the first two and last two lines.Good write.
ReplyDeleteI love the transformative power of mutual hunger and the belief that it can be satisfied. Love it!
ReplyDeleteExquisite indeed, it it's at all possible to have a favourite here (cause there are so many wonderful ones) This is IT!~ wow good girl ;)
ReplyDeleteLike the symmetry of the first and last verses! Your title phrase gives such a clear sense of two people cleaving unto each other with great intensity (desperation/inspiration) -- an almost damaging passion. great work, gautami!
ReplyDeletethis is another favorite of your writing. the title is perfect and the poem shows the urgency of desperation/ inspiration coming together. excellent. have a great day.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Nice job
ReplyDelete'when my bones stick into yours' - terrific - ah, the hungers we have...
ReplyDeleteYou always leave me speechless!
ReplyDeleteHow much closer can two get than bone to bone and when cloaked in the same fog...neither is ever alone.
ReplyDeleteLoved your take here.
This is exquisite agony, all of it, the deeps of art. So many delightfully searing word combinations here! Every line is hot, hot, hot. From out of nowhere, you were delivered a particularly inspired piece this day, I say : )
ReplyDeletecoming in late to say, wow! I love this. It's fabulous. Perhaps even one of my favourites of yours. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery is indeed and in a word: exquisite. Nice work Gautami!
ReplyDeleteI like the couplets that you surrounded your poem with. The slight changes twisted the repetition slightly and made for a very good read.
ReplyDeletefavorite lines:
ReplyDeleteyou find me with desperation
I find you for inspiration
good stuff!
This passion is agonizing, isn't it. Written by somebody who knows exactly what this is like.
ReplyDeleteLovely. as usual
ReplyDeleteCloaked in the fog with our bones sticking together hanging from the pole. I think we've had it!
ReplyDelete..
I dare say, making love has it's own special fog --- and I can image from this poem it was thick indeed.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this ...
Delightful. I love how you began and ended this piece. Everything in between is wonderful too.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is exquisite. Lovely use of words, and as someone else probably said already, I like the switch in the first pair and last pair of lines. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteI love this one- the desperation/inspiration, the need for each other.
ReplyDeletebeautiful imagery!
ReplyDeletelovely poem indeed
from desperation leads to hunger
ReplyDelete"When my bones stick into yours"
yet there is more...