I am trying to think of stuff I never told you, mom
practically everything about me you have known
right from the day I issued forth from your womb
yes, I never asked you those algebraic problems
those long chemical equations and Physics sums
without my asking you drove away my phantoms
this aries daughter of yours has been so headstrong
in your eyes she has not done anything wrong
even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong
yet there are parts of me you will never ever know
when I turned towards him, bonding with you I let go
intense feelings for him, are not for any kind of show
"a time comes where space between daughter and mother is inevitable"
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Do hop on aboard the Monday Poetry Train. Great place to hangout each Monday. What's stopping you?
Mmmmm. This is though-provoking: it must be quite emotional to make the separation you describe so well. Sometimes it's really hard to let go.
ReplyDeleteBut I would appreciate you, if you can contribute something that the form of thought can provide a solution for people who have certain problems.
ReplyDeleteIndeed quite though-provoking, it becomes a different kind of understanding...very well written!
ReplyDeleteLovely, I especially liked this line - even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong - and I love the rhythm of it.
ReplyDeleteSolve your own problems, Ibin.
ReplyDeleteIt's a strange dilemma..how hard we try to separate from our mother and how we feel a shadow of our mother.
ReplyDeleteLike this one a lot. The dilema.
ReplyDeleteYes, there comes a time when we must let go of our mothers and venture into a new life scope. Enjoy this new avenue and its freedoms while still remembering what you and your mother shared. Hope all is well. Have a nice day.
ReplyDeleteIF this is something you're not entirely pleased with, I would love to see something you are entirely pleased with.
ReplyDeleteThis was haunting to me.
Beautiful, feels personal and yet universal!
ReplyDeleteso true
ReplyDeletehappens between mother and son too!
I enjoyed reading this. Great work! Especially the way you use the mathematical terms - the logic of the angles and equations are nicely juxtaposed with the messy feelings of human relationships.
ReplyDeleteProvocative poem - love ...thoughts linear versus oblong...and the mark of inevitability.
ReplyDeletethe rhyme scheme and rhythm of the poem rushes well from beginning to end. a very candid glimpse into a private relationship. thanks for sharing and nice write here -lawrence
ReplyDeleteI love the sentiment here, G. I wish I could say something similar to my own mom, but other than the bit about being an Aries, I'm out of luck.
ReplyDelete"your thoughts were linear, hers oblong" is a terrific way to show the differences.
ReplyDeleteinteresting...and well written as usual
ReplyDeleteSeparation without anxiety - over the separation, that is...
ReplyDeleteNice, Gautami!
...and then one day you look in a mirror and exclaim, "Mom, what are you doing here?"
ReplyDeleteA very fine read of a well-crafted poem. Thank you.
Poetic and forceful at the same time.
ReplyDeleteDid ya ever tell her ya had a snake
ReplyDeletei read your poem before you posted on my blog. it had me speechless because it was the exact theme of my own thoughts.
ReplyDeleteyour use of the word "issued" in teh first stanza is perfect for me because it leads the reader into thinking that a distnace will be created, just as any issue of anything dates and is replaced with later editions.
yet there are parts of me you will never ever know
ReplyDeleteThat was the centerpiece of this for me. I definitely related. Excellent piece, Gautami.
This is beautiful
ReplyDeleteSo much truth in so few words. Symbiotic mother/daughter relationships need to be continually kept in check so we can love our lover.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship with your mother. I admire the way you handle forms, I rarely attempt metre and rhyme because it tends to come out so clunky
ReplyDeleteIf there are canyons between mothers and daughters remember that as long as they are both alive there are bridges. In one cataclysmic second all the bridges can be destroyed, no matter how far up or down stream you walk, there will never be a way across, no fallen tree, or stepping stone. Cherish bridges whilst you still have them even if they apear rickity and unstable. When you have to rely on the bridge of spirit it is hard, really hard, and sometimes it makes you just want to run out along a broken bridge of regret and fling yourself into the canyon come what may. Mothers and daughters are a unique dynamic, love the differences, love the joy, laugh, breath deep and hold hands if you still can.
ReplyDeleteAll my love and energy
Takakow.
I like the linear/oblong comparison but I think my favorite line is "without asking you rove away my phantoms."
ReplyDeleteThat is what moms do, even when we think we don't want them to!
Nice poem--from what you've said, it sounds like you and your mom has had a good relationship--I often think of relationships with parents now that my mother is so sick and, most of the time, doesn't know me.
ReplyDelete'even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong'
ReplyDeleteLove that, Gautami!
A powerfully felt description of this change in relationship.
ReplyDeleteI love how this poem describes what can't be shared between a mother and daughter, no matter how close they have been. I also like the linear/oblong contrast. Reminds me of my mom and me!
ReplyDelete