Reality
Fan
Mind
Those words somehow fit the poem already formed in my mind. They only fanned the reality of it. I write this poem for a student of mine. She clams up all of a sudden. One can only see tears streaming down her face. We do not know what ails her. We have tried to reach her but for no avail. My heart feels for that sweet intelligent girl who refuses to communicate in any way. She needs counselling but her parents refuse to take her to one.
touching the stars
Reaching within your mind
seems impossible. coaxing is
of no avail, tears act like a
stranger impassively indifferent.
closed visage enhances
ongoing rage chasing
in circles. nubile thoughts
seem removed from reality.
Tell me girl, what ails you?
help is at hand if only you
let go. do not fan that anger,
or let anguish pour forth.
silence speaks volumes
though indecipherable to us.
give vent to those tortured
thoughts, accept comfort.
let the winds blow away
those cobwebs of angst.
acknowledge beauty of life
grabbing it with both hands.
Come, touch the stars with me.
I do not know how to end this poem other than this. Today in school, I kept thinking of her and wanted so much to help her. Unless her parents wish it, I cannot do anything other than talk to her.
I presume the last line of your post was supposed to be "I do NOT know..." instead of "I do know..." Anyway, I think it's a terrific ending.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. It mixes the ethereal with the concrete very smoothly, blending them and creating a strong connection to the feelings of both the speaker and the girl.
Interesting use of capitalization. It really calls attention to those three lines, which to me is powerful.
I took the ending of your poem to be the stars line, though I can see how the other line could become part of the poem. Not expecting the stars line - it was very effective. I only wish you could get through to her.
ReplyDeletepjd: You commented while I was kind of checking my spellings. I added the NOT before I read you..:D Anyway thanks.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher, I feel helpless when I am unable to reach any of my students.
Here I show my anguish too along with hers.
thank you for this one
ReplyDeleteit brought back vivid memories of certain students of mine from years ago
that ending was just right
Dear friend,
ReplyDeleteIf I could fly, if love and hope could fly, then know that my prayers and thoughts are even now on their way to your student's heart.
Rose
xo
It's me again.
ReplyDeleteI wrote another version of my poem and I would love your opinion.
Thanks
Rose
xo
Lovely... especially the letting go.
ReplyDeleteI found this very moving. I hope you find a way to get through to her. JC
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful poem...this girl is blessed to have a teacher who is reaching out to her in spirit, with the desire to help. Your students sound very lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteStay strong, keep the talking with her going. Things take time.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem Gautami, the last line brings hope!
oh my goodness.. that was so beautiful.. you can feel the desperation in your words....
ReplyDeleteHi Gautami -- Sorry about deleting the post above. I'm typing worse today than when I first learned how 25 years ago. What I meant to say was this is really beautiful. I wish you could give this to her or at least show it to her if you haven't already done so. But I know she must already feel your care for her even if she can't say it. She is lucky to have you in her life.
ReplyDelete**Tell me girl, what ails you?
ReplyDeleteeven if she wants to tell what ails her, sometimes its so hard to put emotions into words...
Nice one!
Keshi.
A lovely poem but even more so because of the subject matter. Just reading your words about the student brings emotions of sadness and worry to the fore. A great post.
ReplyDeletepowerful and sad.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing
sad but hopeful. i hope you can help her. i know a teacher who had a similar situation. she tried and faild, and it still haunts her. so very sad. wonderful piece.
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful poem. I can really feel you reaching out to her.
ReplyDeleteThough I thought you were speaking to yourself until I read the bit at the end. Finding that out only added to its beauty.
silence speaks volumes
ReplyDeletethough indecipherable to us.
give vent to those tortured
thoughts, accept comfort.
I really like this stanza, but ESPECIALLY the first line. Silence really does speak volumes.
Lovely poem. Here's to hoping her parents see sense and seek help for her.
ReplyDeletei like it and the current ending (although it could also end with "grabbing it with both hands."
ReplyDeleteHow nice of you to write poems for your students!
Sometimes its that constant talking that finally breaks through...Nice job this last week! it was very touching. I know you'll try your hardest and thats all we can ever do.
ReplyDelete