Sunday 4 March 2012

obscured

Image by Sarolta Ban
that hat shadows my eyes
as I look at the poster of my daughter
with overwhelming fullness in my heart
why has she gone underground?
my search has not ended
why is she unaware of my love
my concern?

when I look at her woolly mittens still on the kitchen table,
why did I admonish her for trivial issue?
now in this black and white world
I taste metal, sick metal.
I want everything returned to previous state.
I no longer care that she prefers to be herself
not what I want her to be.

"her coatless state in that picture is my answer"

42 comments:

  1. Wow......did THIS take a turn.........

    I can feel the pain of regret.......

    So nicely done!!!!!

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  2. "I no longer care that she prefers to be herself
    not what I want her to be."

    Beautiful! I love how fully you've filled our man with regret. Very creative back-story!

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  3. Very lovely and heartful.

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  4. I can feel regret and pain here.

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  5. Such a huge loss..lingers like blood on his tongue..beautiful write..Jae

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  6. I could feel the soul-searching here. Well done.

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  7. Quite intense and the underlying pain surfaces so vividly.

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  8. Wow, you painted this word picture so vividly......many parents can likely relate to these thoughts.....

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  9. Yes, it would be nice if we could just skip those teenage years.

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  10. Great take on the prompt! A very different direction. Well done. K.

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  11. Hard lesson to learn sometimes.

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  12. Our poems actually echo each other in a way, the same sentiment of allowing a child to be herself. Enjoyed the poem, thank you.

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  13. Striking words filled with the emotion of someone who cares.

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  14. Great poem. Loved the read. Thank you for visiting my weblog.

    Namaste

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  15. This is powerful, I love it! Regret is indeed a heavy load.

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  16. This is very poignant for me at the moment...someone in my family.
    Beautifully said!
    xx

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  17. A terrific take on the prompt!

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  18. A thought provoking poem, really well done:)

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  19. Regret is an emotional killer, Gautami. Nicely done.

    Pamela

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  20. A searingly poignant poem.
    It brings to mind a blog I once wrote about "home", and what it means. Or should mean.
    http://bookpuddle.blogspot.com/2009/02/your-room-is-ready.html

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  21. Gautami, you have touched the heart of every mother's fear with this. Whether they run away or simply grow away, you have their mittens, their little-girl thoughts and dreams. Fascinating. Peace, Amy

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  22. It is very hard to let go and allow your children make their own way in life. Sometimes by trying to keep them close we drive them away. These are certainly words to think about.

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  23. I wonder how many parents have ended up feeling this well.

    A profoundly sad and honest poem. It will remain long in memory.

    Well done ...

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  24. Sad

    Wander

    http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com

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  25. loved your take on this.. mine was a little along similar lines..

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  26. This gave me a shiver!

    Well done!

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  27. I could relate to this one. Maybe all parents of adult children can, at some level.

    =)

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  28. very nice work... i too seek beyond the obvious...

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  29. Stunning poem. I can really feel the regret here especially in the last lines. Nicely written.

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  30. Wonderful, seamless blending of multiple prompts. :)

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  31. We do what we think is best, but sometimes the open doors that they see are the same ones that were so attractive to us and still...we do what we think is best, it is all we can do. Great writing...loved this.

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  32. Surely a yearning sound and a gaping wound mark this piece. It breathes.

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  33. strong piece. Love the direction you took with the prompt. The inner dialogue is excellent, really takes control of the piece, the emotions are clearly illustrated. Great job. Thanks

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  34. Your words are clear. Honest. Fresh. And the story is so relatable. So human.

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  35. your poem is an anthem for so many mothers who would rather have their
    child with them as opposed to just like them.
    a good ethical poem.

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  36. This is a lovely post.. I am here after quite some time.. today I have put my 500th post and remembered you...came for a visit and lo, I find such a beautiful poem..magical..

    I invite you to visit and read, as you called them once..some dancing verses...

    http://rameshsood.blogspot.in/2012/03/my-500th-post.html

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  37. Been watching too much Bollywood me thinks!

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