Wednesday 25 January 2012

escape

under that tree I kept it hidden
the sheen of your sweat
which had flowed for me in desire.
who dug it out,
along with my sensuality
which I had  packed inside a bubble?
the air evokes you for me,
moving in a lumber way-
now it blows too fast
leaving a wreck behind.

"I will again create a bridge and reach out for you"


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Writing another keepsake poem was tough. I don't think I succeeded. Thanks We Write Poem for using my prompt for this week

25 comments:

  1. Fascinating use of the words, with a lot of imagery that simply would not have occurred to me to use with those words. Well done.

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  2. I like that sensuality packed in a bubble. Makes me think of glass ornaments--and Bubble Wrap.

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  3. on the contrary, I think you succeeded! Lovely flow to this. Thank you for the great and challenging prompt!

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  4. Gautami, you handle this type of writing beautifully. Nice imagery.

    Pamela

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  5. Lovely imagery and I like the idea of creating a bridge to reach out...

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  6. creating bridges is what life is all about isnt it...

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  7. I am so happy to be back here..this is pure magic..Gautami..

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  8. Wonderful imagery in this beautiful poem Gautami!

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  9. Nice 'sensuality' here. Thanks for 'jamming' with us over at Poetry Jam. Beautifully written.

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  10. I liked the sensual desire expressed in this piece that mirrors the feeling of being completely spent in your love but yearning for that moment again.

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  11. Beautiful, but if he left her in a wreck the fist time, why would she want to revisit him?

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  12. But you really did succeed. A lovely poem strongly sensual - what could be better than a poem for a keepsake!

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  13. Seems very gusty, the sentiments.

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  14. beautiful poem. I love the images that play in my mind after reading it.

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  15. amazing talent.



    Hello, How is your day?

    Hope all is well,
    Appreciated your invaluable support to us,
    Best regards.

    Join us any time and share a verse or two,
    Your talent pleases me and makes a huge difference too,

    Hope to see you in soon,
    Cheers,
    xoxox

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  16. The feelings you have evoked are so strong and lingering..a keepsake..for certain..Jae

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  17. A collage of love, no less...

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  18. You map those thin surfaces of air-tormented skin and sweat sheen superbly. A feather, it seems, could knock her over in this state.

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  19. reaching out always leaves the bridge intact, lovely poem

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  20. which had flowed for me in desire.
    who dug it out,
    along with my sensuality
    which I had packed inside a bubble?


    love the lines, vivid imagery.

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  21. definitely a successful poem! i love your portrayal of sensuality without being too explicit. the final line is a lovely expression of yearning.

    thank you so much for your wonderful response to the Poetry Jam prompt.

    dani ♥
    my heart's love songs

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