Big Room, 1948, by Andrew Wyeth |
forlorn, neglected?
an empty room
yet I see an invisible fence
no trace of my scent.
why then you have my bust,
is it a link to our past?
essentials of an unfulfilled relationship
permeate the atmosphere
nothing is forgiven.
in that grate
you threw the recipe of our love.
what a smooth operator you have been
you etched my profile with a pencil
so as to remember to forget me
"in that rose tinted dusk
I explore the possibility of your imbalance"
Hmm... remember to forget me...nice contradiction.
ReplyDeleteStrong stuff. The recipe of love, cast upon the grate...that makes my heart hurt. I like this piece.
ReplyDeletequite a powerful piece....I loved 'remember to forget me'....lovely flow
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Gautami. Love your intricate wordings. (but don't enjoy the word verification.)
ReplyDeletenothing is forgiven.
ReplyDeletein that grate
Beautiful piece!
I love that...remember to forget me.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of powerful emotion in this. The reader is left in no mistake about the writers pain.
Great interpretation of the pic.
Oh you expressed this so well. Loved it! And the two final lines are brilliant!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the title of your poem, Gautami and the way you have developed a sense of ending, first of a relationship, but also of the day, and the end of a season... beautifully crafted and I thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteSome great lines in there, memorable ones. If only I could explain how coincidental and timely the title of your poem is. [You wouldn't believe me. A neighbours' dispute :-)]
ReplyDeleteWonderful desciptive poem ... a really nice poem inspired on the Magpietales picture. Well done ...
ReplyDeleteNamaste
Great opening line: "is that my bust I see on your window sill"
ReplyDeleteoh yes- "remember to forget me"
ReplyDeleteSad when the recipe for love is lost...
ReplyDeleteWell done, excellent, "remembered to forget me..."
ReplyDeleteMoving piece...loved it!
ReplyDeletevery strong indeed...very nicely done and thanks for sharing Gautami
ReplyDeleteWhat a fine idea to have one who was banished return and challenge the one who burned his heart.
ReplyDeleteI love the possibility this might have nothing to do with a human relationship at all and might be thoughts from the point of view of something inanimate.
ReplyDeleteStill it bodes well either way.
The questions raised within the lines, begging to be answered, by whoever the person/thing is talking to had me looking for a reply, but I love that at the end one can come to their own conclusion.
Lovely writing
Great all around, but I especially loved:
ReplyDeleteyou etched my profile with a pencil
so as to remember to forget me
=)
Excellent, the feelings strong but resigned..love the last line.."I explore the possibility of your imbalance"...boy, does that resonate with me!
ReplyDeleteSorry, didn't notice your message here to leave a link. Here it is: http://bodhirose.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/filters/
ReplyDeleteRemembering to forget....that just stops me....so deeply felt....
ReplyDelete"remember to forget me"....such delicious sarcasm...
ReplyDeletePencils are easily erased. Love "remember to forget me". Very clever.
ReplyDeleteI ditto everyone on the "remember to forget me".
ReplyDeleteI, too, love the line "remember to forget me". Packs a punch.
ReplyDeleteessentials of an unfulfilled relationship
ReplyDeletepermeate the atmosphere
That's exactly how the picture appears - full of promises/potential which never came to fruition.
And I'm NOT a robot - but neither am I able to read 75% of the words and figures! I promise, the sky doesn't fall in if you remover them...
Beautiful. I am now your newest follower, and I invite you to follow my blog as well.
ReplyDeleteWell written. The tittle sets the stage your words play across
ReplyDeleteI'm with Jinsky! Begone Word Verification. Life's to short to spend it puzzling through indecipherables.
ReplyDeleteDoctor, I had removed word verification before you commented here....
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for removing the WV - you've made all our lives much easier! ♥
ReplyDeleteHey Gautami, I also immediately like (like everyone else it seems) remember to forget me and "in that grate
ReplyDeleteyou threw the recipe of our love." nice and thank you for your kind words on my poem. Your poems are lovely. I've also read "dregs" and i really really like it too. you have a gift with words. there's no other way to say it.
Very interesting take. good job
ReplyDeleteIn UK bust means what goes into a bra, so I was looking for a glamour girl! I think the statue is Beethoven.
ReplyDeleteLovely poem.
Deliciously enticing like a good meal. A perfect interpretation.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for coming over to see me and leaving such a lovely comment - I am encouraged.