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| image by Manu Pombrol |
I sit in bottled sea
reminiscing about squandered time
green moss follows me
creating a stormy lane in the confined space
if it had been a pewter container
I would have hidden from your prying eyes
but now I am in an intractable alley
elusive in my indignity;
flocks of thoughts chase me,
beating on the walls of my mind
"I am forced to accommodated my naked being,
don't you dare comment on it."
........
Writing after three weeks. I am just happy to be able to do so. For now.
Your opening line draws me in, and I love how it fits the picture. May your words continue to rise.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful take. It truly flows.
ReplyDeletelove the line 'flocks of thoughts chase me'....sweet..xx
ReplyDeleteExcellent - you seem to have drawn on one of those Freudian dreams we are all supposed go have at sometime in our lives. The fear of being naked and not able to hide our nakedness.
ReplyDelete"bottled sea"...YES.
ReplyDeleteThis flows beautifully. So visual.
De Jackson (WhimsyGizmo)
http://whimsygizmo.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/the-anecdote-of-the-jar/
love the last two lines
ReplyDeleteThe stress and pressure you bottled up in the 'confined space' of this short poem explode outward. Thank you for sharing, Gautami. I enjoyed the read.
ReplyDeleteThe closing to this is lovely, Gautami.
ReplyDeletePamela
Moss and pewter...two of my favorite things...
ReplyDeleteWonderful and I too like the last two lines especially!
ReplyDeleteReally like this. Well-drawn and love the dialogue lines at the end. Very nice, thanks
ReplyDeleteloved your poem.
ReplyDeleteTruly beautiful! :-)
ReplyDeleteReads as if your muse is back from vacation. Image and wordle seem to have been made for one another
ReplyDeleteelusive in my indignity
ReplyDeleteNice idea...
Great poem , Gautami
ReplyDeleteNice interpretation of the image. Causes one to think. Commenting from Poetry Pantry.
ReplyDelete