tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post2095574849872629517..comments2023-10-05T03:12:14.296-07:00Comments on poemette: let the red bleedgautami tripathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04192356825699543613noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-9396357178913650642009-10-13T19:18:39.091-07:002009-10-13T19:18:39.091-07:00The words & dialog of the "players" ...The words & dialog of the "players" play on the games intensity. Well done!<br><br>(Sorry I am so late to visit!)Debhttp://stoneymoss.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-63351780855979388152009-10-10T21:44:47.433-07:002009-10-10T21:44:47.433-07:00Crisp and horrifying yet strangely beautiful. I lo...Crisp and horrifying yet strangely beautiful. I loved it.oldegghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14727444489103758018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-25468028029361787492009-10-05T07:31:02.448-07:002009-10-05T07:31:02.448-07:00"your fixed eye turns me onyour face is a mot..."your fixed eye turns me on<br>your face is a mottled blur" -- such intensity here!Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11552467037640904091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-27152073621833742622009-10-05T06:04:44.838-07:002009-10-05T06:04:44.838-07:00I'll never look at foosball the same way ever ...I'll never look at foosball the same way ever again.<br>"...who the hell is playing God?..."<br>Brilliant line in any context but especially here. Loved this Guatami.Janice Thomsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02506920585319893814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-83551433708161672802009-10-04T13:58:05.405-07:002009-10-04T13:58:05.405-07:00riveting - the ordinary language of the first stan...riveting - the ordinary language of the first stanza makes the subject all the more powerful (and perhaps sinister) in contrastEKSwitajhttp://www.elizabethkateswitaj.net/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-66415635718597624152009-10-03T21:46:07.502-07:002009-10-03T21:46:07.502-07:00"Who the hell is playing God?" I loved t..."Who the hell is playing God?" I loved that part. You've done a great job with this prompt! I enjoyed your poem a lot :)Jessica GChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15789259382300695780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-85400785259257342762009-10-03T20:11:14.647-07:002009-10-03T20:11:14.647-07:00I enjoyed the dark humor and the bit of confusion ...I enjoyed the dark humor and the bit of confusion that the line "Who the hell is playing g*d" brought out to me. That started things off well and it held that high standard throughout.<br><br>Well done.Markhttp://radio-nowhere.org/nb/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-7254130379247522002009-10-03T17:29:55.792-07:002009-10-03T17:29:55.792-07:00A strong piece. I like it!A strong piece. I like it!Zouxzouxhttp://www.zouxzoux.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-33720240384053912262009-10-03T17:17:10.355-07:002009-10-03T17:17:10.355-07:00This poem has a nice pace, and change of pace as w...This poem has a nice pace, and change of pace as well. And done with a nice economy of words, allowing the images to be the more easily seen.bearlyaudiblehttp://bearlyaudible.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-6393879608960198182009-10-02T11:39:57.343-07:002009-10-02T11:39:57.343-07:00I appreciate what you've done here.This is a m...I appreciate what you've done here.<br>This is a metaphor about how we make <i>foos</i> out of ourselves when we're in love innit?<br><br>Our hearts are skewered, everything is spinning out of control, and we're met with blank stares.Donn w/2nzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-88908296703163712362009-10-02T08:53:58.131-07:002009-10-02T08:53:58.131-07:00Our poems this week read like cousins, my friend.Y...Our poems this week read like cousins, my friend.<br><br>You used one of my favorite words - mottled - and I enjoyed the tone of muttering confusion and disbelief with what is so...<br><br>Like a cosmic, "What just happens" and "What continues to happen?" and "How can I change what happens next!?"<br><br>Thank you for an evocative read.Julie Jordan Scotthttp://juliejordanscott.typepad.com/jjspoetry/2009/09/readwritepoem-94-precarious.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-21368746237251918982009-10-02T07:12:07.273-07:002009-10-02T07:12:07.273-07:00I am envious of your piece- I am working hard on f...I am envious of your piece- I am working hard on finding the place that makes me find the inspiration that you have found in this piece. Good work and good job!Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01551965174040634160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-5644515470433654902009-10-02T06:12:12.977-07:002009-10-02T06:12:12.977-07:00For some reason message thing wont work.Don't ...For some reason message thing wont work.Don't know if you're interested but take a look at New Formalism group. Get some sonnets out of your system.Sorry for all the silly comments.It's spring here that can be my excuse.<br>cheers<br>Rallrallentandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-86273954917605366882009-10-01T21:44:46.416-07:002009-10-01T21:44:46.416-07:00wonderful ramble Gautami...thanks for sharingwonderful ramble Gautami...thanks for sharingWayne Pitchkohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15376196523487344143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-6253466069522450422009-10-01T20:43:30.235-07:002009-10-01T20:43:30.235-07:00Strong imagery - passionate compassion.Strong imagery - passionate compassion.Tumblewords:http://www.blogger.com/profile/04279038951489894119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-27018912583786703742009-10-01T18:33:33.932-07:002009-10-01T18:33:33.932-07:00I love it, Gautami. I will think of you the next ...I love it, Gautami. I will think of you the next time I play foosballsagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17499891950639742366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-52218848394775066832009-10-01T17:21:21.896-07:002009-10-01T17:21:21.896-07:00If they could speak, what you wrote seems exactly ...If they could speak, what you wrote seems exactly what's going on.Irenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12918979903066830662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-33059045612408758372009-10-01T16:08:40.528-07:002009-10-01T16:08:40.528-07:00I love the dance you create in this poem with the ...I love the dance you create in this poem with the questions and suppositions. This is a well written work, Gautami. Thanks.Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03241402645242821612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-48835078774839244942009-10-01T12:46:31.950-07:002009-10-01T12:46:31.950-07:00Great concentration of the key details in a tortur...Great concentration of the key details in a tortured, moving lover's interrogation of self, partner, and situation. I especially like the line, "who the hell is playing God?"davidmooltenhttp://davidmoolten.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-58156143843996499712009-10-01T09:49:17.824-07:002009-10-01T09:49:17.824-07:00Well Ms Triptette I wonder what Dr.Freud would thi...Well Ms Triptette I wonder what Dr.Freud would think of all of this.And who is Lorraine? Puzzling.rallentandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-16521429950773354712009-10-01T09:37:27.256-07:002009-10-01T09:37:27.256-07:00Nice, gautami. I like the hole in the chest image ...Nice, gautami. I like the hole in the chest image and its blueness in the white figure.<br><br>Your stanza:<br><br><i>red, white, red, white<br>more and more are added<br>until everything else fades</i><br><br>...is very nicely achieved. Its first line echoes the military march drill calling left, right, left, right. The fact that everything else fades points out the human reality that we vest our group endeavors, from war to sports, with such importance that nothing else exists.<br>_____<br><br>Paul Oakley<br>Blogging his ReadWritePoem poems at <br><a href="http://innerlight-radiantlife.blogspot.com/search/label/Read%20Write%20Poem" rel="nofollow"><i>Inner Light, Radiant Life</i></a>Paul Oakleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17426789386840488470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-65712809400335142372009-10-01T09:24:43.016-07:002009-10-01T09:24:43.016-07:00"your fixed eye turns me on" great. I ..."your fixed eye turns me on" great. I missed that about (him), fixated on the blue spot. You certainly had fun with it. thanksbriarcathttp://briarcat.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-33499908436872544772009-10-01T08:52:17.455-07:002009-10-01T08:52:17.455-07:00Hi Gautami,My favourite lines are:"I would me...Hi Gautami,<br><br>My favourite lines are:<br>"I would melt it, pour it<br>on myself, let the red<br>bleed, meld into you"Derrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00861397533660827678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-23137503415708054022009-10-01T07:46:15.798-07:002009-10-01T07:46:15.798-07:00powerful images, loved it, especially the second a...powerful images, loved it, especially the second and third stanza.Anahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06611955404994410354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-1848035372911171832009-10-01T07:06:20.696-07:002009-10-01T07:06:20.696-07:00Who the hell is playing god - nw thats somethng to...Who the hell is playing god - nw thats somethng to think abt.. Well pennedRajlakshmihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05947753574286557864noreply@blogger.com